Write what you think.
I'm just curious.
For every good poem I write, I also write a lot of reflections and mediocre poems.

Today I am a broken bottle,
Lost in a stormy sea.
My sharp edges have been diminished,
After crashing through the strong current.
Maybe I will be picked up,
Maybe I will wash up on shore.
But then again maybe not,
And I will sink to dark depths unknown by you,
Unknown by all.

Today I am a broken bottle,
Alone in a salty sea.
My sharp wit has been diminished,
After having nothing around to test it.
Maybe I will meet someone,
Maybe I will be able to speak.
Bu then again maybe not,
And my shining mind will drift into a giant maelstrom,
Unknown by all.  

Today I am but broken glass,
Nothing left to identify me.
My body has been diminished,
After breaking off against the sand and rock.
Maybe I will be better once more,
Maybe I will be rejuvenated.
But then again maybe not,
And my crafty glamour will be lost for eternity,
Unknown by all.

Today I am no longer here,
Part of the ocean's flow.
My existence has been diminished,
After having nothing to sustain it's splendor.
Maybe it was for the better of all,
Maybe I will have a better life this way.
But then again maybe not,
And my pain will drift though the world's waves,
Unknown by all.

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bad right off the bat

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Really?
Why?

its deep so babybluebitch probably didnt get it.

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"when things go wrong, dont go with 'em."- elvis presley

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there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit.

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Care to elaborate?
I want to know what was wrong with it.

Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion.

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Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008

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there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit.

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Care to elaborate?
I want to know what was wrong with it.

Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion.

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first off, I'm not a huge fan of anaphora, myself..
it is sort of in limbo between a free verse poem, and one with rhythm and rhyme.

secondly, you're stanzas are all to pieces.

before writing anymore poetry I'd suggest reading, studying, and analyzing classical poetry from a myriad of poets. then work to find your own niche...

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"We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot
survive without human affection."

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Quote: from Anonymous at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008

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Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008

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there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit.

---

 

 Care to elaborate?  
 I want to know what was wrong with it.  

 Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion.

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sure, sure.

first off, I'm not a huge fan of anaphora, myself..
it is sort of in limbo between a free verse poem, and one with rhythm and rhyme.

secondly, you're stanzas are all to pieces.  

 
before writing anymore poetry I'd suggest reading, studying, and analyzing classical poetry from a myriad of poets. then work to find your own niche...

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Thanks.

I don't really like anaphora either, which leaves the question why I wrote it the way I did.
I usually find repetition sickening and bland.

Thanks for the advice.
I'll get on that.

I haven't been able to get any great influence lately.

and the "But then again maybe not" line sounds very informal.

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"We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot
survive without human affection."

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and another thing, know your types of poetry. yours is sort of a random, uneven blend of a sort of an elegy, lyrical type thing.

and the "But then again maybe not" line sounds very informal.

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Fair enough.

[Note what I said before the actual poem about sometimes writing "self reflections".]