Last month, the girl PMed me and asked for my number. She was trying to make peace with me. Since then we've been texting and became friends. She's nice, I'm nice. I have no reason to be mad at her coz she didn't know that she'd been cheated on either til I told her. I'm not just being nice to her, I just don't have any reason to hate her.

Now, it seems they have gotten back together and are planning to get married (?!). I don't know their end of the story, how that happened. All I know is it's hurting me. I know, I shouldn't be hard on myself coz the guy is a douche (a cheater!) anyway. But I can't help it. I guess I'm still angry at what happened. Now, it seems the girl is asking me to be one of the bridesmaids and the nice (and stupid) person that I am agreed. Now I don't know what to do. I don't want the guy anymore but I don't wanna witness them tying the knot either. And I'm not good with lame excuses too, it makes me feel like a liar, which I try so hard not to be.

Help please?

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Ang Akong Balay

I think it sounds like you truly aren't giving your blessing and you're just not going to stand in the way, because you're just that sort of person.

The fact that she asked you for your number and you've both wanted to have a friendship with the other shows how understanding of the situation you've both been thus far. And it seems like she'd take your stance if you explain yourself, quite well.

Don't go to a wedding you don't believe in or are not comfortable attending.

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From a distance you look like my friend,

even though we are at war.

You can move on, ok, you'll have trust issues to begin with. But I find they are easier to overcome when you're placing someone else in the shoes of someone you feel you need to trust. The new person won't have any black marks against their name.

Think about who she's really marrying, someone who cheated on their girlfriend, he kept you a secret to maintain his relationship with her. She was the mistress, in effect. You were with him first. Relationships never get back the first light once this sort of event has occured.

I think you've made the better choice, in short.

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From a distance you look like my friend,

even though we are at war.

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Personally, I wouldn't see you as the "loser". I'd see her having settled for something that's never going to be 100% perfect in my opinion. She's the one left with the trust issues of someone who cheated on her, and is having to live with that day-to-day. I think you've made the wise choice in stepping away from the relationship and looking out for yourself.

You can move on, ok, you'll have trust issues to begin with. But I find they are easier to overcome when you're placing someone else in the shoes of someone you feel you need to trust. The new person won't have any black marks against their name.

Think about who she's really marrying, someone who cheated on their girlfriend, he kept you a secret to maintain his relationship with her. She was the mistress, in effect. You were with him first. Relationships never get back the first light once this sort of event has occured.

I think you've made the better choice, in short.

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I think so too. And being her friend, I wanted to remind her that but she might think I'm just jealous. Well, I guess I'll just let her realize that herself.

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Ang Akong Balay