I'm an adult and carry many responsibilities. I have a boyfriend who is five years older than me, and he is a veteran. He lives with his parents, maintains no job and is irresponsible when it comes to college. He can't seperate wants from needs, and his bank account is in the negatives most of the time. I bring in the bacon, pretty much. He has ruined credit and prioritizes video games to be number one. I've slowly and naturally become like a mother to him, taking care of him, paying for him, guiding him with everything. I do this because I care so much about him and want him to do well in life. It's hard to stop and let him do it on his own because every time, he fails to do so.
I have changed myself to the point where he can have no complaints. I'm not exagerating. I have been doing nothing wrong. Yet he feels as if he can just ignore me. He will not answer my calls and tell his family & friends to ignore me as well. We have talked about this before, and he's told me before he will stop doing it. But he will still do this for days on end. I don't require him to check in or call every day (we hang out about 3-4 days a week), but when I need him most, he is impossible to get ahold of--by choice.
And then when he gets over his issue and in most cases, it's picking up the phone and plugging it into the charger two feet away, he acts as if nothing ever went wrong. We have been together for a year and a half, and we are going nowhere. He has not even considered any type of future with me--avoided it, if anything.
I feel like I don't deserve it. I mean, I'm his taxi because he doesn't have a car, and I'm his bank account. He doesn't even tell me how he feels about me or that he cares, and shows no such actions. Hell, we went to Arby's for Valentine's Day last year and he treated me like shit for our anniversary we ended up not doing anything for. He even disappeared for my birthday for a while--impossible to get a hold of. Of course he eventually showed up, but later than planned.
At first, I thought he was great. And I still do, but at the same time, I think a part of his is horrible. I'm so scared to leave my comfort zone and be without him. I want to be with the GOOD part of him, not the other half. I just don't know what to do, I am about to go insane. I feel like going crazy and ripping my hair out because nothing I say ever gets through to him, nothing I say he listens to. I feel like I love him so much but I want someone who can offer it back to me.
I could be in the hospital and not be able to get ahold of him during my entire visit, and then I'd get out, and he'd say "Sorry" for not answering his phone. Thats the way he is, for an example.
But at the same time, I feel like this is the best I will ever get,
Post edited at 11:00 pm on Nov. 30, 2008 by Anonymous
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Leave him. Plain and simple...you're a beautiful, caring person but your getting stood all over my dear. Not cool! Get someone who will treat you like a princess. It's hard to get out of your comfort zone I know but believe me it will be better for you in the long run. Just do it and make sure you see your friends and family for support a lot to overcome it. Cut all contact with him, he doesn't deserve you. When you're gone he will realise it but it will be too late and you'll have the time of your life. Believe me your not his mother nor should you ever put up with that crap. Good luck darling and just believe in your self...you are beautiful with a beautiful heart and can do so much better. You need to let go of your insecurities and realize how special you are, he is using you.. 
