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( Chiefette )
Visionary
 Sustainer
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Okay, I am married, so obviously not interested in this guy as anything more than a friend, and he knows that. He flirts with me constantly, and he doesn't realize that he is doing it. We work together, so we see each other on a regular basis. I have said something to him about it before, and it would stop for a few days, then start again. He knows my husband, and is scared shitless of him, but he still does it. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but it is getting annoying.
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I love you Mikey!
March 17th 2007
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dreamon
Advisor
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Does your husband know about this?
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xox Don't lead me into temptation ... I can find it myself. xox
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( Chiefette )
Visionary
Sustainer
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Yea, he knows, and it severely pisses him off, but they are on a acquaintance level, and still relatively friendly. My husband knows that I am friends with him, and doesn't want to ruin that. I am friends with people I only see through him as well, so I don't want to cut off contact or anything like that.
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I love you Mikey!
March 17th 2007
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jimbob is queen
Lawn Care Specialist
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Just ignore it. Literally do not respond in anyway when he does it and eventually it will bore him. Older guys do that to me all of the time and its stupid so I stop it.
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you come away with a great little story...
'bout a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you...
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( Chiefette )
Visionary
Sustainer
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I don't respond as it is. He doesn't even know he is doing it, therefore it doesn't matter what reaction I give him.
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I love you Mikey!
March 17th 2007
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amiee
Guru
 Patron
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Sounds like he's perhaps a naturally flirtatious guy. I have loads of friends like that - they flirt but it's all in good fun and doesn't actually mean anything. They can be ok but only if you can put up, and feel comfortable, with it. If you don't then it definitely needs sorting out because it's not fair on you, or your husband!, to live with it! Maybe you could try talking to him one last time. Letting him know that you'd like him to stop for the sake of the friendship... thing is, because you've already told him that you want him to stop before and because he does it without even realising it sounds like part of who he is. Maybe it comes down to you either putting up with it (if he doesn't respond when you speak to him) or taking a step back from the friendship.
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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see
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9:26 am on Dec. 4, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2005 | Days Active: 1,267
Join to learn more about amiee Scotland, United Kingdom | Posts: 9,836 | Points: 21,297
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( Chiefette )
Visionary
Sustainer
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He doesn't flirt with any of the other girls at work though. It is just me. He has told me that he likes me, and that if I wasn't married he would ask me out. So I know that the intention is there, but he doesn't seem to realize it.
I have talked to him about it numerous times, and it just doesn't help. It's not like I can just step back really either. I have to work with him. I would end up seeing him anyway. He tends not to flirt when my husband is around, but he cannot be around all the time. AND he has a girlfriend, long distance, but still. He is always on the phone with her, and sees her regularly.
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I love you Mikey!
March 17th 2007
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amiee
Guru
Patron
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Oh, I see! That makes it different then, definitely =\ And awkward too, by the sounds of it... Get your husband to go have a word? :P Ok, I actually know that's not an ideal solution. Gosh, what a tricky one. I'll go think about it and come back if anything pops up! I hope someone comes along with some sort of reasonable solution though. That sounds terribly awkward.
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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see
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9:34 am on Dec. 4, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2005 | Days Active: 1,267
Join to learn more about amiee Scotland, United Kingdom | Posts: 9,836 | Points: 21,297
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( Chiefette )
Visionary
Sustainer
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I don't want my husband to have to fight my battles though. It isn't his problem in all honesty, why bring him into it.
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I love you Mikey!
March 17th 2007
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nik1
Dairy Product Addict
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Innocent flirtations are harmless but there should be a line drawn as to what he can say and do. You have to decide what that line is. If his conversations are sexual, tell him to stop it. If he's touching you...tell him to stop. If his comments are suggestive.....block him.
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11:27 am on Dec. 4, 2008 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 562
Join to learn more about nik1 North Carolina, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 8,668 | Points: 14,641
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( Chiefette )
Visionary
Sustainer
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Block him? I'm not talking about internet conversations here.
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I love you Mikey!
March 17th 2007
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11:31 am on Dec. 4, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 149
Join to learn more about Chiefette Florida, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 5,857 | Points: 8,051
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amiee
Guru
Patron
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Talk to someone superior at work? I understand you want to deal with this yourself but if it's making you feel uncomfortable and he won't listen then there's not much else you can actually do. Other people need to be brought into it because what he's doing is wrong - you've asked him to stop and he won't - so you need to find a way of getting him to listen. It's not really a case of someone else fighting your battles. It's allowing someone to step in when you realise there's nothing else you can do. You don't have to do it maliciously or anything, but perhaps hearing it from someone else will shock him a bit into realising what he's doing.
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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see
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1:40 pm on Dec. 4, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2005 | Days Active: 1,267
Join to learn more about amiee Scotland, United Kingdom | Posts: 9,836 | Points: 21,297
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