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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Humor & Jokes / Viewing Topic

PC Guide...Just in time for the holidays
My mom forwarded this email to me and shes awesome therefore it is too
Replies: 16Last Post Dec. 3, 2008 9:11pm by airemaye
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( greatescape )


masquerade

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Support Leader
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

tehehehe

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Around and around and around we spin,
With feet of lead and wings of tin


8:23 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 544
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Descartes


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hmm....i almsot lol'd

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Your ignorance never fails to amuse
I think, Therefore I exist.

8:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2008 | Days Active: 132
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GdFtherOFCOWS


Swami

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He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.


Bitch please, I break it down with the best of them.

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Transvestites are men who like to eat, drink and be Mary.
Let's do the Time Warp Again!
Hymen Destroyer


8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2004 | Days Active: 1,292
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MixedDelight


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Clever.

I like those.

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Shhh, don't tell.


8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 125
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Se Enkeli Mikko


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That's hilarious, haha.

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You wont be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight.

8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 26
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lovebug55


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lol i love it...

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my closets full but my mind is empty

8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: May 2006 | Days Active: 212
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Baron Samedi


ಠ_ಠ

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Quote: from rudecrudeswimingdud at 9:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

hmm....i almsot lol'd

This.

I came pretty close.

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AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING


8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2008 | Days Active: 320
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Ju5tin


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lol. :P

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ledzep

8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2007 | Days Active: 579
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joziah


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Quote: from rudecrudeswimingdud at 8:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

hmm....i almsot lol'd
this

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mmmmm

8:26 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2008 | Days Active: 167
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ang42490424


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Nice

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Where there is great love, there are always wishes.

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carracer


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I chuckled.

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The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it

8:26 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 264
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Jman19


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lol. Nice.

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Daisy chains, Christmas plays, winter nights and summer days
Fireworks and starry skies, sunset and moonrise.
So much more to see and do, and hopefully it's all with you. ♥
seemenow1990 is worth her weight in gold.

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Noraa


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Love it!

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all the days were a sun-drenched haze
while the salt spray crusted on the windowpanes...

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S0LITUDE


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Quote: from GdFtherOFCOWS at 8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.  

 
Bitch please, I break it down with the best of them.


this was one of my favorites  

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Cierra la puerta, ven y siéntate cerca
que tus ojos me cuentan que te han visto llorar.
Llena dos copas de recuerdos de historias,
que tus manos aún tiemblan si me escuchan hablar

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mtllcrckmn


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Reverse bulemic make me lol

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Shit in a bucket or don't shit at all.

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