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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Humor & Jokes / Viewing Topic

PC Guide...Just in time for the holidays
My mom forwarded this email to me and shes awesome therefore it is too
Replies: 16Last Post Dec. 3, 2008 9:11pm by airemaye
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( greatescape )


Alive & Amplified

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

tehehehe


8:23 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 646
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Descartes


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hmm....i almsot lol'd

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8:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2008 | Days Active: 194
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GdFtherOFCOWS

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He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.


Bitch please, I break it down with the best of them.

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MixedDelight


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Clever.

I like those.

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Se Enkeli Mikko


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That's hilarious, haha.

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lovebug55


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lol i love it...

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Baron Samedi


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Quote: from rudecrudeswimingdud at 9:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

hmm....i almsot lol'd

This.

I came pretty close.

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Ju5tin


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lol. :P

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ledzep

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Antigen


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Quote: from rudecrudeswimingdud at 8:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

hmm....i almsot lol'd
this

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ang42490424

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Nice

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carracer


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I chuckled.

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Jman19


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lol. Nice.

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noraa

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Love it!

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S0LITUDE


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Quote: from GdFtherOFCOWS at 8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.  

 
Bitch please, I break it down with the best of them.


this was one of my favorites  

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mtllcrckmn


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Reverse bulemic make me lol

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Leik, OMG

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