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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Humor & Jokes / Viewing Topic

PC Guide...Just in time for the holidays
My mom forwarded this email to me and shes awesome therefore it is too
Replies: 16Last Post Dec. 3, 2008 9:11pm by airemaye
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( greatescape11  )


Swami

Sustainer
Support Leader
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

tehehehe

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Tetrapharmakos


8:23 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 383 Days Active
Join to learn more about greatescape11 Wisconsin, United States | Female | 18683 Posts | 26273 Points
rudecrudeswimingdud


Dairy Product Addict
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hmm....i almsot lol'd

8:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2008 | 10 Days Active
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GdFtherOFCOWS


Swami

Patron
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He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.


Bitch please, I break it down with the best of them.

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Transvestites are men who like to eat, drink and be Mary.
Let's do the Time Warp Again!
Hymen Destroyer


8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Mar. 2004 | 1211 Days Active
Join to learn more about GdFtherOFCOWS Arkansas, United States | Male | 13686 Posts | 26860 Points
MixedDelight


Enlightened One

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Clever.

I like those.

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Butter Pecan Puerto Rican,or them Oatmeal Raisin Asians.
Hazelnut Brazilians, Macadamia Caucasians,
Double stuffed or thin mint It don't matter you gettin' it,
Cause I got a sweet tooth that will never come loose...


8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Sep. 2008 | 98 Days Active
Join to learn more about MixedDelight Ontario, Canada | Straight Female | 9378 Posts | 15278 Points
Se Enkeli Mikko


Advisor
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That's hilarious, haha.

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You wont be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight.

8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2008 | 26 Days Active
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lovebug55


Wealthy Hobo
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lol i love it...

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my closets full but my mind is empty

8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined May 2006 | 212 Days Active
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Baron Samedi


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Quote: from rudecrudeswimingdud at 9:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

hmm....i almsot lol'd

This.

I came pretty close.

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Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken, quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!
Quoth the raven, you just lost the game.


8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Mar. 2008 | 165 Days Active
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Ju5tin


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Tech Support Leader
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lol. :P

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Ah.... I'll buy it at a high price

8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Mar. 2007 | 435 Days Active
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joziah


Wealthy Hobo
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Quote: from rudecrudeswimingdud at 8:24 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

hmm....i almsot lol'd
this

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want to buy: sexy altar boy

8:26 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 131 Days Active
Join to learn more about joziah California, United States | Straight Male | 1998 Posts | 4209 Points
ang42490424


Connoisseur
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Nice

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Where there is great love, there are always wishes.

8:26 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2007 | 244 Days Active
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carracer


Soothsayer
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I chuckled.

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The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it

8:26 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2007 | 218 Days Active
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Jman19


Wealthy Hobo
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lol. Nice.

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Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at
the end of the day that says "I'll try again tomorrow."

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NoNoNora383


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Love it!

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&hearts Glowinthedark, ily Ashleigh.
Tavis, you're amazing. Keep being amazing!
Pallavi, I love you. You truly earn your name amazingness99 &hearts
^Love them

8:27 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 | Joined Sep. 2007 | 286 Days Active
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S0LITUDE


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Quote: from GdFtherOFCOWS at 8:25 pm on Dec. 3, 2008

He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.  

 
Bitch please, I break it down with the best of them.


this was one of my favorites  

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If nobody's everybody then someone could be anybody.
Si nadie es todos, entonces alguien podria ser cualquiera

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mtllcrckmn


Omnipotent One
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Reverse bulemic make me lol

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If the above comment is:Mean, Cruel, Hypocritical, Retarded,
Dickheady or a Gross Generalisation; It's probably a lol.

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