I have a couple of friends who are perpetually envious of everything I do, and interpret everything in an envious light

eg if I get something, then "You're soo lucky"
The way I look, "You're soo thin"
If I worked hard for something "You're soo smart, I wish I'm that smart"
Even if I deal with a bad situation, it's "You are soo nice, I wish I'm calm like you lol"

For the most part, I don't mind. They're good friends I enjoy having, and (esp for girls) it's normal to compare yourself to others.

But it's like "You have no idea". Anything good about me is a byproduct of everything that's wrong in my life. I manage to keep together a "normal life", though I'm so afraid of losing it that I push myself through really fucked up mental states. My parents don't tolerate any kind of failure, and to keep the peace I force myself to "be sensible" and achieve, and I always kept my well-being last.

I don't want to veer off into a rant about my life. I guess the thing is that I feel like I have nothing to say when this happens. I want to say something but the friends are so entrenched in their belief and their own insecurities that nothing gets through. Trying to be honest would only fall into a false image that others have about me. It's impenetrable.

I minimise problems by putting it into a normal-ish light, like "hahah if I didn't do that my parents would kill me" or "Yeah I joined____ just so I'd keep busy and it looks good on resume so lol"

And the response is along the lines of "Oh please, at least you made it, I wish I could "

But it's not all to my merit or anything. If you're desperate enough and terrified enough you'd work hard enough to do well. My internships and extracurriculars and clothes and electronics and grades are the brighter side of everything wrong, it over-represents me and keeps me occupied enough to not fall apart.

But other than *I'm actually fucked up wahhhhh* there is absolutely nothing I can say that'd make a difference. I feel so disconnected and apart from the real world of people. When there's nothing actually terrible about these people - it's just me and my situation. What then?

I just feel like reading your situations. Even if they're not exactly the same.

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i try to make his life as miserable as possible

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Oooh oooh
How?

It honestly does suck. Because when i get hit on they're not trying to get with me for my personality. They're taking in a summary of my body. Basically seeing me as a sex object.

I can never find anyone to sympathize with me about this either.

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All general statements are untrue.