Anyway, yesterday I found out that my dad had an affair with another woman. I'm not going to go into details, but he's been buying her expensive jewelry and designer clothing, all of which my mom found the receipts for. She went through the records of his vehicle crossing the bridge...he's often been visiting her twice a day!

The sad thing is, two Fridays ago was my mom's anniversary. He bought my mom a bouquet of roses (she was, at the time, talking about how beautiful it was and how lucky she was to have such a great husband). However, on the same day (according to one of the receipts), my dad bought some pretty expensive stuff for this woman.

The thing is, I was at first angry with him. But now, I'm starting to feel bad for him. I guess I'm very easy to forgive. I just wish my mom would let this go and let our family be normal again. Then again, I understand how hard this is for her...and she shouldn't simply forgive and forget.

I'm just so lost and confused. Today my dad came up to me crying telling me how much he loves me and said that he wishes things would just be normal again.

I don't know what to do, what to think. I'm still in a daze. I never suspected anything until yesterday. Not once. My dad never seemed like that kind of person! And now everything has changed.

I just want my dad back. :(

Your mom needs to confront him.

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i'm calling a bullshit...

Trust is a big thing in any relationship - once it is broken, you're fucked unless someone is easy to trust again .

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non shifting motherf-cker is BANNED

Obviously, if your father had been wanting to keep it a secret, he would have kept the receipts in a more secure area, one in which your mother would have to seriously search for in order to find. So it's possible that he may have been hoping that your mom find out what he's been doing. In a way, it may be easier for him to express what he's been doing, but, this does not make it right in any shape or form, or does it make it any easier on your mom. Just be there for her, it's going to be tough.

Maybe the bouquet was a way of your dad showing that he still cares. They could also be him showing guilt for what he's done. If he's been buying multiple expensive items for this 'mystery' lady, then I suggest that he might feel guilty going home to your mom. This isn't always the case, he may feel that what he's doing is "perfectly fine".

What you have to understand is, although you might want to feel angry and upset, and your mind is swirling with emotions, it honestly isn't your place to judge or forgive him. You don't know what is going on behind closed doors with your mom and him, and you don't know what she's said or done. Maybe she's doing the same thing too him, but is more secretive. You never know, life is a mystery. Again, don't judge anyone and don't choose a side, you'll end up hurting yourself and someone you love.

It's okay to feel lost and confused. Although your father did this, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or your mom any less. People do make mistakes, and will in turn, regret them very much so. It might be hard at first, but over time, you'll need to learn from his mistakes and what he's done, and forgive. If he does it again, then maybe he isn't suitable for the thing we call "Marriage and Family", maybe he is torn apart inside.

Your dad is still the same person he was a week, a month, a year ago. He just made a huge life-altering mistake, which we all have made. Don't think of him of any less of a person than he is, he is already going through a tough time as it is. He's still the loving caring father he used to be.

Hope this helped..
Feel free to talk or ask me questions whenever.

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███ṚƎMIXƎD███
█GRADUATIONx█

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OK OK ok to be perfectly honest, it won't be normal. Your mom will always realize in the back of her head that your dad pulled that shit and the relationship, married or not, will be pretty difficult.  

Trust is a big thing in any relationship - once it is broken, you're fucked unless someone is easy to trust again .

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I know it can be pretty difficult trying to swallow something like this at one time. That's why they say that time heals all wounds. Rome wasn't built in a day. It's just a confusing mess that needs time to untangle. He could very well have just been frustrated, and made a bad decision.

Now, it sounds like your mom put as much trust into your father as you did, if not more. He sounds like he feels genuinely sorry, but once you hurt someone... that bad, and on their anniversary, it's hard to gain their trust back. Someone above did give a good point. Your dad is the same person as he was a year ago. He's the same person you grew up with, and despite what happens in the future, he is, and will always be, your dad. So, don't feel like you're losing your dad, because you're not.

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Can't we all just get along?
Member Since 1194002957

I'm sorry that I don't have any real advice to offer.

My dad's going to see a psychiatrist, who will hopefully be able to prescribe him some better drugs to deal with his depression (...which I believe I forgot to mention).

I've been feeling much better now about my family and myself. Tomorrow, hopefully (well, not really...considering how boring it is) will be just a normal day in school.