You don't need to feel like this just because of a guy....he'll realise what he's lost. And if you need to tlk just message me,...

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You smiled the whole way through it,
I guess maybe that's what's worse.

There really isn't much you can do to besides wait, and hope things will go back to normal in time. Listen to your psychiatrist, and try and be there for your mother. It's okay to cry. Get something to eat too.

If you're mother will be okay, then try and go out with some friends and get your mind off things.

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I look ahead at all the plans that we made
And the dreams that we had
I'm in a world that tries to take them away
Oh but I'm taking them back

Try doing something that distracts you. Try watching TV, reading a book, listening to music, or try solving a Rubik's cube. There are so many possibilities to distract you. That usually helps from feeling all the pain that you are going through right now.

Your boyfriend had his reasons to go, but that doesn't mean that you will find someone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and there is not much that makes your boyfriend more special than everyone else. You may see him as something different, but believe me, he probably is nothing special.

Dying over one guy is not the best of ideas. Your whole family will be crying over you, and I am sure that your ex will feel a bit of remorse as well. Do you really want that? Wouldn't you rather let him go and do what is best for him? There is a saying that goes, "If you really love him, you will learn to let him go." There is so much truth to those words. Just give it time. You can't just kill yourself today, because everyone you know will be so upset and depressed over your death. He isn't the only one who saw you in a different way. There are plenty of fish in the sea, you just need to catch them!

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I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

Can you call him and ask him to talk?

Break-ups are hard and it's not pathetic you feel like this. You probably feel 10x worse because you have depression too and this is an extra blow.

It's good you're thinking about your mum too and how she would feel. If she's depressed, who knows what would happen if she lost you? You're her daughter and she needs you, as you need her.

It'll take time to get over your boyfriend, it's not gonna happen over night. You haven't started taking your new meds yet? They might help you.

But it's going to be hard to deal with. Don't give up, though, because you will get over him and find a new love. Just don't forget it's gonna take time, probably a long time.

Tell your psychiatrist about this, too. She might be able to help you.

Do some things to occupy your mind. Keep busy and hang out with some friends. Try to do things that will cheer you up, because it is possible. :)

You can PM me if you want to talk.

Look, you can't turn to death for an answer. Killing yourself can not be an option. There is so much more to life than boyfriends and having lots of friends and having good grades. No matter what is going wrong in your life, I promise things will begin to look up. When shit gets so down and low, the only thing it has left to do is go up.

I wouldn't recommend on going any more pills. I wouldn't recommend any pills whatsoever, but then again, I'm not a believer in anti-depressants. I had a friend who killed himself because that shit made him feel so awful.

I just hope you feel better. Stick through this. I know it has only been a couple of days now, but if you wait a little longer, things will start looking up a little. Slowly. Shit can get bad quickly and easily, but it's difficult to bring yourself back up. However, that's what makes happiness so much more sacred and so much more enjoyable.

Otherwise, what had helped me in the past is thinking about how everybody goes through tough times in their lives, and think about all those couples who get a divorce and how awful they feel. How they just feel failure and sadness. But they get through it, and so can you. Everybody can, it is just a matter of what they do about their situation. Also, I always think about my mom and what she would do without me. I know she only lives for me, and that is how parents are. Perhaps, since your mom is already depressed, she only truly just lives for you as well. If you let life go, you know that she probably would, too. do you want that? Because both of you can make it through this. Talk to her, bond, and get together to kick this depression in the ass.

You can do it. Good luck.

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♥ ♥