In past sex tips, we've talked plenty about different kinds of sensation play - a kink term which refers to playing with intense sensation for sexual and erotic purposes, but never got into anything deeper than blindfolding and trailing ice down your partner's body. Lucky for us, thanks to this question, we get to explore sensation play a little bit further and talk about pain as a sensation of pleasure.
Wax play is a kind of sensation play where hot wax is dripped onto different parts of the body. The heat and "pain" of the wax can cause a pleasurable erotic response for some people, while others may get off from the feelings of submission or dominance, depending on which side of the wax they are on. Or a mixture of both. Kink, like all other kinds of sex play, is totally subjective, especially when it comes to what gets you hot (sometimes literally!).
When playing with hot wax, some people prefer to go with using burning candles to drip the wax, while other folks use crock pots, fondue sets or wax baths to heat up solid blocks of wax or candles to either drip, pour or spread on their partner. Applying the wax can be a very erotic experience for both (or however many) people involved, but the fun is not over there! What comes up must come down, and what goes on must come off! Removing the wax can be an equally exciting and stimulating process. And because the skin under the cooled wax is very sensitive once the wax comes up, even the littlest bit of sensation play can go a long way.
While playing with hot wax can be very erotic and fun, it can also be a risky venture, as you are literally playing with fire. But not to worry, as long as you play it safe, the experience can be totally enjoyable and danger free.
One of the first and more important parts of playing with hot wax is picking out your wax. Because different waxes burn at different temperatures, it is really important to know what kinds of wax you are using and at what temperatures they burn. Using wax that burns too hot can cause burns to the skin it is dripped or poured on, especially for newbies to this kind of play. Paraffin candles are great for wax play. They are not only easy to find and inexpensive, they burn at a low temperature that is safe for playing with. Soy candles are also good - they are a little more expensive, but they burn cleanly (smokeless) at a low temperature as well. Avoid beeswax candles as they burn at a very high temperature and can easily cause burns. Also note that certain colored waxes can vary the temperature of the hot wax. Beginners might want to start with plain white paraffin candles to get the feel of the heat before moving on to colors that can raise temperatures.
Before even lighting a wick, here are some basic preparation ideas to make your experience all the more enjoyable and safe.
- Set up an old sheet, table cloth or shower curtain under your play space to catch any renegade drips. Getting wax out of carpet and fabrics is no fun, so make your life easier with this easy clean up tip.
- Make sure that you set up your candles and supplies on a stable surface. The last thing you want is a lit candle wobbling around on an unsteady table. Also make sure that you have everything you need with you before you begin. This includes candles or wax/fondue pot with brushes or a ladle, matches, mineral oil, paper towels, ice, plastic scrapers, a wet towel and a fire extinguisher, to name a few items. A tipped candle can spread a fire very fast, so it's always good to be prepared!
- Clear your play area of any unnecessary items or anything flammable that might get in your way.
- Have the person being waxed shave the area where wax is being dripped if possible. Also have them rub a small amount of mineral oil into their skin for easy wax removal, especially if they cannot shave the area.
Now it's time to talk about application of the wax. As I mentioned earlier, there are a few different ways to apply the wax to your partner. Dripping the wax from a candle is a popular method. You can either wait for a larger pool of wax to form to pour more at once, or you can let it drip as it melts off of the candle. The temperature of the wax depends on the height at which you drip it. Eighteen inches or more away from the body is considered a safe distance to drip or pour from. Be careful about dripping wax on top of another drip as it causes a more penetrating heat and needs a longer cool down period. Remember to go slowly and listen to your partner about what feels good and what does not.
Removing the wax can be just as fun and thrilling an experience as putting it on. You can use an ice cube to cool the wax and either a plastic spreader, a knife or even your fingers to pull up the wax and gently peel it off the skin. Knife play can be incorporated into the removal as well. Just be very careful as usual knife play utilizes more of the tip of the blade and wax removal uses more of the sharp edge of the knife. The skin under freshly removed wax can be very sensitive, so have fun with it, but realize that anything you do might be felt in twofold.
This is in no way a comprehensive tutorial on wax play. In fact, I've barely skimmed the surface on what is possible in this genre of kink. To find out more info on this topic, check out The Toybag Guide to Hot Wax and Temperature Play by BDSM authority Spectrum.
Keep it hot (and safe)!