I'm not so great with friends. I have lost so much over the course of my life, so I ask you to please learn from me.

Day one, September 14th, 2007
I feel happy today. Today, I made a new friend. Her name is Jennifer. I really think she will be a great friend to me. I feel full of emotion! I want to scream! I want to shout! She's really pretty. She will be the 1st friend I will have made since I moved.

Day two, September 15th, 2007
Jennifer invited me to her house today. I couldn't stop talking. It feels good to let it all out. But I don't want to be annoying to her. She smiled and listened, but I don't think she wanted to. I told her what I think of school. It's different, and I hardly know anyone.
We both talked about our days, and I was eager to listen to what she had to say. She spoke of having anticipated having me here, and wanted to get to know me better; To show me around the neighborhood, and to let me know I'm welcome here anytime. I really appreciate it, Jennifer. J

Day three, September 24th, 2007
Today was a bad day. I humiliated myself in front of hundreds of people. At lunch, I tripped and fell face first into my lunch. It's too painful to talk about. I want to cry.

Day four, October 4th, 2007
I never want to go back to school. One day after another, I'm embarrassed because I do things differently, and it ends up as a disaster somehow. I just completely sit alone in class, at lunch, and get out of the hallway as soon as possible. Jennifer says it will be all right, but I think it will get worse.

Day five, October 17th, 2007
Mom had to go to court with me today, cause I skipped school last week. She didn't seem too happy, because she had to pay a really large fine. My God, my life is falling apart. What do I do? What can I do? What's going to happen...?

Day six, October 29th, 2007
There's this girl I want to ask out, but I'm too scared to get turned down. I see her in my history class everyday, and I love how her beautiful golden brown hair flows, and her beautiful face. She's probably too good for me. But I must know for sure. Jennifer told me the girl's phone number when I went to her house today. She said she was a nice girl, and she doesn't see why she wouldn't want to, at least, get to know me.

Day seven, October 31st, 2007
I finally worked up the courage to call her today. She told me she would like to meet me in person some time, but she didn't want to get too involved, as she's having trouble with her ex-boyfriend, and that I could get potentially hurt in the process if I'm seen with her.

Day eight, November 6th, 2007
I found out her name today. Her name is Alexis. Even her name is pulchritudinous. She might be the solution to end my pain and suffering.

Day nine, November 20th, 2007
Over the last 2 weeks, her and I have passed notes and talked on MSN very frequently. But she seems to not be enjoying it so much. She seems like I'm a problem of hers. What does she want? Can I give it to her? What's the problem?

Day ten, December 3rd, 2007
Things don't seem to be going very well between us. Jennifer got into a lot of trouble recently, and we've lost contact. I heard someone framed her, and now she got arrested. For what, I am not aware of.
Things aren't going too well at school either. I sent a note, which Alexis took the wrong way, and she contacted the school authorities. I was only given a warning, which I appreciate. But, now people don't look at me the same way anymore. Now I'm back to the humiliation.
Please. I'm praying for the best. This will all end well, I just hope.

Day eleven, December 19, 2007
Jennifer is in jail now. The police don't seem to believe us of her being framed. Some kid placed cocaine in her locker and they didn't leave any fingerprints on the baggie. When she took it to the police, the police arrested her before she could say something.

Day twelve, December 24, 2007
I just got off the phone with Alexis. She says we need to talk. Please don't let it be something bad. I love her very much, and I don't want anything to happen to her. But if what she wants to talk to me about is what I think it is, that just isn't enough for her. I want to make it up to her. Tomorrow, I will ask her what it is she wants from me. Hopefully I can still save this relationship. No one has ever accepted to go out with me before, and this might be the last. I want it to be meaningful.

Day thirteen, December 25, 2007
She says we can't fix it. It's over. I want to die. I want her to be happy. If I'm not around, then she probably will be happy. It's unbelievable that she'd also want to do it today too.
I'm sorry diary. I must leave you forever.

On December 25, 2007, Aeorin was found dead in his room in the evening. According to a voicemail on Alexis's cell phone, he committed suicide in belief that she would be happier if he wasn't around to burden her. She says that she felt she herself wasn't doing enough for him, and she believed that he would be happier if she was no longer associated with him, and it would be a Christmas present that he would be free of her. She was completely unaware of any suicidal thoughts or beliefs, and that she now realizes that all he really wanted... was love.

This story is not intended to endorse or promote suicide in any form or fashion.

and the sentence structure aint too hot. even if it's a journal.

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I HAVE. THE AGGRO