He doesn't even care. I'm at a loss. I just can't stop crying. I hate my life. I hate my parents. I hate my friends. Only one person cares about me anymore, but that person moved away and we only talk on AIM and text. I have no one.

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Why do you care so much about your ex? My gf went through pretty much the same problem and it turns out she has an anxiety disorder. You should get some help from the docs.

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I still love him, that's why I care so much.

You'll likely always feel some amount of tenderness towards your ex, which is normal and healthy. Don't expect to up and suddenly lose all feeling towards him, it simply won't happen. Co-dependency is a serious issue though and if you're leaning towards suicide simply because he broke up with you, it's not so much an issue of love but a psychological issue that needs proper therapy. I would strongly suggest you look into talking to a counselor, especially combined with all your other 'hates' which strongly sounds like depression.

It's almost impossible to self-diagnose depression. You may feel fine and believe that you're simply being objective, but depression can be sneaky and seem like simple cynicism. "I'm not depressed, things just suck that much." can often actually be depression making mountains out of molehills.

In the end, you have tons to live for even if it doesn't seem so now. Even you cannot see the future and all the potential your life has. Don't be so quick to toss it away simply because things aren't that great right this instance. If you work at it, your life could be drastically different in only a month or two.

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Holly.
Mama to Hunter Kai
Still missing you, LML. (1941-2007). ♥
"Nothing is worth more than this day."

Just curious...if they are your friends then why do you say you hate them? I can understand about parents because most parents dont understand or appreciate the horror that is the teenage life and teenage depression.

If you feel so lonely why dont you get up and do something about you...no one is going to change that except you and you can only do it if you really want to. There are plenty of things you can do. Go volunteer at a nursing home or a hospital. Join a club or volunteer organization and do something nice for someone else.

This should help you with the loneliness but if you get to the point where you think you may hurt yourself have someone else drive you to the ER or call an ambulance. There are too many people out there who care about you (whether you knoe them or they even know you) and dont want anything to happen to you. To me you are an online anonymous person and I am worried and care about you because I believe that all human life is precious and we are only given one life and we need to make the most of every precious second we are given and not throw it away.

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Livewire Rocks my Socks!!!
Im gonna keep on trucking!!!

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And I want you to have what you want.  

 
But in all seriousness, life is once. There is no reason for you to worry about things that are the past now. You will live and then die, whether you kill yourself tomorrow or die of old age in a rocking chair. You don't have to face up to the consequences of failed relationships in your youth and neither does he. If you die it dosen't mater, it only maters if you live. Even if I told you to off yourself or everyother person on this forum it wouldn't mater becasue individual life is inconsequential, inversely the same is true if we all tell you not to kill yourself. If you do what other people want you to all your life then there is no point anyway, if you kill yourself to prove that your ex was wrong  you won't accomplish anything.

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