But lately, I have just taken an abrupt stop to this, I observe everything going on around me. I have been watching the news more, and I see people going about their everyday lives. People buying and selling goods, kids telling their parents good bye before they go off to war, people killing and dieing. People loosing everything overnight, people being arrested, and thrown to the wolves for one stupid mistake. People taking advantage of one another to get ahead. No one will lend an extra hand to help another in need, but instead capitalize on it.

I look at all this and I think to myself, this.. this isn't right. People taking advantage of the weak, cheating, treating outsiders like they are less than a human and denying them their civil rights. All to get ahead, it can be money, reputation, services. I literally feel sick to my stomach to even be a part of this world, what is the point of living? To make yourself just another stepping stone? I want to make it clear that I am not feeling suicidal or contemplating it in anyway but the past week has made me feel sick to even be alive.

It's hard to trust, it's hard to believe what's happening...you know...crimes, murders..rapes..everywhere..

It's hard to find loving people, people with good intentions..but like Catalyst11 said, it's the "world"..

-------
"Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its
heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice"

The world is definatly a very muddled place. The less I care about money and materialism, the more I look at the capitalist society I live in and stand in awe. I'm not a socialist either, I don't stand against capitalism necessarily but I am just shocked at how much money and materialism and selfishness has been accepted into society. It's the norm now. I looked at some magazines the other day in my kitchen that had just come in the mail and one of them said "How to teach your kids the importance of money". So that magazine advocated brainwashing children into thinking money is everything.

I don't think happiness comes from money, but the capitalist society inevitably makes this culture around money. The culture of America is money, and we are raised thinking more money and things will bring happiness. They bring sensory pleasure, that is all. When you lay in a tempurpedic bed your body is comfortable as hell and you have sensory pleasure, but in your head you are upset as hell about your stressful job etc. Rich people kill themselves too, and that should prove in itself that money does not have a dominant connection to happiness. Especially since in many poor societies there is no epidemic called depression, whereas America is becoming obsessed with stopping stress and depression.

Either way it doesn't matter. I wouldn't let it affect my mood, atleast they are all alive. Life is beautiful, American society and culture is somewhat odd.