He says all I do is bitch at him to do things. But he never does anything himself. He wants all these things in life, but he expects them to just happen. I'm trying to show him that he has to make them happen, but because of that I'm the bad guy. If I stop helping him (or stop being a bitch), I have to listen to him complain and watch him suffer under his own lack of self-motivation.

I just don't know what to do anymore. It's really wearing on me, to the point where I think I'm falling out of love with him. Do I just let him drown on his own? It's been months since I've helped him do ANYTHING, and he seriously is drowning in his own self pity. I hoped that I wasn't the cause for his go-getter attitude that he had for a while, but evidentally I was.

I just... I don't know what to do.
I DO love him, which makes this even harder.
*sigh*

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[insert something funny and original]

he cant argue with a letter, which will force him to listen to what you have to say.

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 ()()
(='.'=) rabbit :D

First of all, sit down with him, and tell him that he needs to take some initiative for himself. An important step of living in the real world is being able to fend for himself. I know it's a common stereotype that men are lazy, but if he doesn't do things for himself once and a while, then he's not going to be getting very far in life. He's taking you for granted, and you need to have a bit of an intervention. Even though you haven't helped him lately, if he doesn't do something for himself, he's going to continue to rely on you. Or worse, he's not going to be able to fend for himself. (Ending up in possible homelessness, bankruptcy, etc...). However, it does look like when he gets a little push to do something from you, he does stick with it.  You both need to have an adult conversation and talk about the situation. If, to you, it's gotten to the point where you are feeling no love for him, then it's time that you both do something about it. Come to a conclusion, and then see where things go. If he doesn't change, then it might be a good idea to dump him. If he does change, then let him prove to you that he is worth it.

I hope this helps,

Peter

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Don't sweat the technique.
This will change your life.

Either way, I think that his attitude and sluggishness isn't something that you can fix easily. I know it must be hard for you to watch, but it may be something you need to be patient with, or just walk away from.

I'm not sure if there are underlying issues that are holding him back? Like lack of self-esteem, history of under-achieving, stuff like that? If he has them, then it might help to tackle them a bit (but again you'd have to not seem pushy, and since it already sounds like you're pretty considerate of him, i'm not sure what more you can do). But if he doesn't have clear issues, then it sounds like it's something only he can help.

I hope that helps somewhat. Let me know how it goes =)

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i spy on you too

I understand that you don't want him to down in failure, but you've got to let him choose to do something on his own accord. He's been guided to where he is by you. All you can do is to love him and hope that he will acquire that go-getter attitude he did have in the love of you.