Hey, I am totally in the same boat! I searched this problem and joined this site just to reply, lol. The first thing I want to say is, don't give up!!! I used to think that maybe some people just can't, but now I think it just takes some girls longer to figure out. I have just taken up masturbation recently as my new hobby too, and am trying to figure this darn thing out as well! I am making progress though! Here's a quick breakdown of my journey: At first, stimulation of my clit was always too intense for me, whether it was a guy going down, or the faucet running in the tub. I used to twitch, my leg muscles would tighten and it was unbearable. But some how, magically, I got used to it! My friends said the same thing, after a while you stop twitching, maybe it's an age thing or experience thing (like that recent post said, you develop the ability with age).
Once I learned to stop twitching, the tub became my best friend. I put the water on warm, and I pull up on the shower stick on the faucet head (I don't know if that makes sense)... but it intensifies the stream of water a bit but not enough to turn on the shower. This water shouldn't be too fast, but just comfortable when it directly hits your clit. (Ok, this is kind of racey, but continuing, lol!) So start rocking yourself back and fourth, up and down, whatever feels good and turns you on under that running water. Eventually, I start to get this aching feeling in my clit, like "horniness" I guess, and you want more. So I keep on doing that, getting all hot and into it, it's feeling great!!! But then eventually, my clit goes super sensitive, and I don't know what to do! Continuing is too intense, but I feel like I'm almost there. I researched it a bit, and I think I'm at the end of the "plateau phase" in the "sexual response cycle" (look it up, intriguing) where the clit retracts to avoid further stimulation. So this is where I am stuck... do I have to stick something in there (tried that, no dice), stop and start again... I don't know! But this water things works like a charm for me, gets me the farthest!
Any help anyone on what to do next? lol, try it out girls, tell me what you think and if you have any success. Best of luck ocdbabe, and please please tell me if you eventually figure it out, lol, so damn frustrated, and I'm sure you feel the same, haha! Best of luck! :D