Being abused when young is never going to have a good effect on you later in life, it will always be with you and may cause issues like trusting people, but this will get easier, quicker if you get help from someone who knows what they are doing. They will find you ways of easing the trauma of what happened.

Like motorhead said, you could have some form of an anxiety disorder but these things are sorted if you get the right help. A doctor or a therapist, these are just two of many people who you can seek help from. Don't suffer like this on your own, it won't get easier if you're going through this alone you will just get more scared. So, do something to help yourself, it's you that matters, tell someone who can help or get you help.

If you've been through therapy and feel it didn't work, go back to your doctor say and tell them, that particular type of therapy didn't work and can you transfer somewhere else, they will find you help. There are so many different types of therapy such as hypnosis therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, or just doing some yoga can be relaxing and a way to let your feelings inside out, clear your body and soul.

Sorry things are hard right now You can message me whenever you need someone to talk to.

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ALLY K?

You also mentioned that your therapist helped you with the depression and feelings of revenge. Even though the therapist hasn't made things easier in terms of the flashbacks and how you feel around other people, seeing the therapist did help in some small wee way. That's what recovering is all about, I think. Getting help from as many different sources as possible. They all help in different ways and in different areas and eventually you find that you're healing, though slowly, and the help is coming from all over, not just one person/thing. Even though the therapist didn't help 100%, they did help a wee bit. And that's something.

Abuse is something that can take a really, really long time to recover and heal from. Having it happen to you at such a young age must have been incredibly difficult, but you've proved to yourself that you can survive and that life will go on. Have you found that things have gotten easier as time's gone on? You mentioned that your therapist help rid you of the depression and the feelings of revenge, so from that I gather that there was once a time where you were feeling depressed and your mind was occupied with getting revenge. Do you feel that you're over that now, having had help from your therapist? If so, that's a sign right there that as time passes and with some help, you definitely can start to feel better. It's an extremely slow process, recovering emotionally from abuse, but it can happen and you can come out the other side feelings a lot better. :)

I definitely think it'd be a good idea to try visiting the doctor to explain about the flashbacks whenever people touch you. Your doctor can help with this and can also help with the panic attacks you occasionally get, y'know? Right now, if you need a little help from outside sources, that's ok. You're not going to have to rely on other people forever, it's just through these really tough steps that you're gonna need a shoulder to lean on. That's ok, I promise, we all need that.

Abuse isn't something you can just "get over" unfortunately. It takes a lot of time and a lot of help from a lot of different sources. Doctors, therapists, friends, family, yourself. It's different for every person but if you seek out all the help you can get then the more chance you have of finding something that works for you, don't you think? I understand completely that you don't want to go through the rest of your life feeling like this and, although I can't promise that you won't, I can say that there's a good chance that you'll come out of this ok. Seeking help is really difficult but it can help, yeah? Have a think about it. You could also try having a quiet word with a trusted member of family (or a friend). Just to explain how you're feeling right now - it can be reassuring to know that there's someone there you can talk to (and who will listen!) at the end of a rough day.

I'm not going to suggest that some day you can look back at your past and not be sad about it. I think it's possible to remember bad things that have happened in our lives and, although feel sad about them, just be at peace with them. Not be haunted and hurt by them anymore, y'know? I do think that's possible and I do think you can achieve that.

I suppose you've got a lot to think about and some decisions to make about what direction you want to go in with regards to getting help. Take your time and take it slow, yeah? And remember, you're safe.

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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see