so today she has been getting nastier and nastier all day about tiny little things; me not calling to end my contract, the fact that i slept til 12 (college was cancelled so it's not like i was bunking) and now she missed her stupid item on ebay and someone outbid her by like £1 and yep, you guessed it, it's my fault.

because i was on the computer at the time. she started crying and screaming and calling every name under the fucking sun saying that i hate her and "do things just to spite her" my dad actually got his arse off the sofa to tell her to calm down; she WAS being pretty petty and ridiculous.

now, the problem is that when people start shouting at me, i start laughing; a life long stupid reaction to serious situations. so i escape to the kitchen before she sees and the only way i can calm down is by hurting myself... so i scratched my back and at the time i didn't realise how hard i'd done it. now i've got raised marks all over it and i'm actually bleeding. fuck, it hurts so much

i suppose this fucked up family has just gotten worse, in a way. she went to have a bath and "relax" a minute ago, which is why im on here... my dad sat down to help my brother with his homework... that's possibly the weirdest part of tonight... my dad has barely paid any attention to dave, especially since he was diagnosed with autism

it's so fucking weird.

any ideas how to make my back heal faster?    

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Strive to be extraordinary
Mediocrity is not an option