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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

Rate me topic lol
Replies: 9Last Post Jan. 8 4:32pm by MilesSoftball
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( Anonymous )

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They're actually lyrics, but whatever. Rate them. Tell me if they're shitty or not. If enough people think they're not shitty, I might put them to music and such for people to hear.

(Note: I know it's set up sort of weird in that there's not really a true chorus. I wanted it symmetrical so that the song has an actual center, if that makes sense. Right now it's ABABCDB, and then backwards from there. But I might change it at a later time so that it repeats instead of going backwards, and then add another B verse at the end. Most of you probably have no idea what I just said.)

Anon. for protection of self in case this completely sucks

Where were you when I was lost
And when I was finally found?
You stayed away at any cost
And I couldn't find solid ground

Breathe me in,
But don't take my hand
I'll let go.
You would know.

There comes a day we all must pay
For all the wrongs we've done
And I'm not sure, but I think yours
Are too much for anyone

Break me up
But don't write me off
'Cause you can bet
I'm not done yet

Will you ever see?
You just can't keep up with me
I tried to tell you once before
But you keep coming back for more

Never will I wander
Never will I roam
No more going under
I'll walk these roads alone

Take me away
But don't think I'll stay
I'm not yours
Anymore

I will let you wander
I will let you roam
You'll be torn asunder
You'll be on your own

Will you ever see?
You just can't keep up with me
I tried to tell you once before
But you keep coming back for more

Beg me, please
Just get on your knees
I'll take you back
But I'll leave you just as fast

Where will I be when you are lost
When you are finally found?
Will I care, will I be there?
Will I make a single sound?

Scream for me
Then just let me be
I'll forsake
Anyway

If you need me, you know where I'll be
Just as close as I need to get
To hear you cry, to hear you lie
I still don't miss you yet


7:45 am on Jan. 8, 2009
LiveWire Humor
Shania1


Professional
Reply
good!:)

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Email me @ either: shaniajones@ntlworld.com
sugarspiceeverythingnice@hotmail.co.uk

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MystiqueBeauty16

Omnipotent One

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I like it.

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Orangehatboy at his finest, BITCH

7:46 am on Jan. 8, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 151
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flufferbunkers


Dairy Product Addict
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That is veryy nice.
You have talent.
You should write me a songggg, or a poem.
=]

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-Nikki33

7:46 am on Jan. 8, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 64
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PreppyPeyton


Enlightened One
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Cool.

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Other Account.

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atomictastic


Swami

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Beautiful.

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I never thought that I would find my way
Into the light, dreamin to find, who ever you are

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friendlyfrenchfry


Dairy Product Addict
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i loveeee them!!!!!!!!!!

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"show me the candy"

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seniorgeek


Advisor
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Hmmmm!

10:20 am on Jan. 8, 2009 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 38
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xroses are redx


Visionary
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Veryy nice   =]

3:04 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 | Joined: Jan. 2007 | Days Active: 413
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MilesSoftball


Professional
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Like it.

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K a y l a A n n

4:32 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 204
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