Denial Patterns:
[]I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
[]I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
[]I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:
[]I have difficulty making decisions.
[]I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
[]I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
[]I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
[]I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
[]I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance Patterns:
[]I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
[]I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
[]I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
[]I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
[]I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
[]I accept sex when I want love.

Control Patterns:
[]I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
[]I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
[]I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
[]I freely offer others' advice and directions without being asked.
[]I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
[]I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
[]I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

Can a person have some of the qualities stated above but not be considered as codependent? What is your view on codependency?
Discuss.

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this isnt myspacee...

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No shit.

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i got 8 :S is that bad?

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Depends on the eight I guess. Which eight?

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OF COURSE you can have some of the qualities listed above and not be "codependent" in a negative, unhealthy way. Although, it is human nature to be codependent to a certain extent.

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I agree. What is your extent?

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Quote: from BackPorch at 3:22 pm on Jan. 7, 2009

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OF COURSE you can have some of the qualities listed above and not be "codependent" in a negative, unhealthy way. Although, it is human nature  to be codependent to a certain extent.

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I agree. What is your extent?

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Well I can fill that thing out if you want me too.

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=)Stephanie

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i got nine...what is codependency?

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http://www.way2hope.org/codependency-test-definition.htm

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Quote: from AussieKills at 3:30 pm on Jan. 7, 2009

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Quote: from BackPorch at 3:22 pm on Jan. 7, 2009

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OF COURSE you can have some of the qualities listed above and not be "codependent" in a negative, unhealthy way. Although, it is human nature to be codependent to a certain extent.

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 I agree. What is your extent?

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Well I can fill that thing out if you want me too.

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That would be cool.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:
[x]I have difficulty making decisions.
[]I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
[x]I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
[x]I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
[x]I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
[x]I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance Patterns:
[x]I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
[x]I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
[x]I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
[x]I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
[]I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
[x]I accept sex when I want love.

Control Patterns:
[]I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
[]I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
[x]I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
[x]I freely offer others' advice and directions without being asked.
[]I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
[x]I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
[x]I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

Is that bad?

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Vae Victis

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Quote: from Natsy at 3:20 pm on Jan. 7, 2009

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i got 8 :S is that bad?

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Depends on the eight I guess. Which eight?

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[]I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
[]I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
[]I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
[]I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
[]I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
[]I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
[]I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
[]I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.


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Strive to be extraordinary
Mediocrity is not an option

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Quote: from AussieKills at 11:21 pm on Jan. 7, 2009

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Quote: from Natsy at 3:20 pm on Jan. 7, 2009

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i got 8 :S is that bad?

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 Depends on the eight I guess. Which eight?

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[]I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.  
[]I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."  
[]I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.  
[]I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
[]I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
[]I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.  
[]I become resentful when others will not let me help them.  
[]I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.  

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I think you pretty much sell yourself short is all. You need to love yourself before you can love others. Once you do? You'll know how to maintain relationships properly opposed to bending over backwards for people when it is not your place to do so. Trust me, I do the same exact thing! However, we cannot keep feeling the need to be validated by how others view us.