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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Humor & Jokes / Viewing Topic

Only in America
Some funnies
Replies: 19Last Post Jan. 2 3:41pm by mentos13
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( hornydude1992 )


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Only in America
........do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America
........do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America
.......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America
........do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America
........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America
........do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'..

Only in America
.......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER .....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you


Even though I'm American I found this funny. It makes you think.

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Even when the going gets rough,  
never stop believing., people still believe in you not matter what


3:13 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 295
Join to learn more about hornydude1992 Connecticut, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 3,147 | Points: 6,123
xoAllixs0n


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The first one is ridiculous. You can't put cigarettes at the back of the store because people will steal them.

Retard.

-------
I Sip on Haterade.


3:14 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: July 2006 | Days Active: 648
Join to learn more about xoAllixs0n New York, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 13,166 | Points: 20,191
Tubbz


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Lol. All so true.

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I came on Eileen

3:14 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 440
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TheatreMinelli

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Actually a lot of those only in Americas happen in England too.

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I don't give a shit about the CIA and their tropped up
evidence, Bond is my agent and I trust him

3:14 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: June 2005 | Days Active: 884
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robdude


nicest guy ever!

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I eat hot dogs without buns!

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Maybe it's time to come home!

3:15 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Feb. 2006 | Days Active: 595
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Midnight Lights


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It's kind of funny.
But, there's a drive-thru for the pharmacy...

3:15 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2006 | Days Active: 623
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radshelb


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"Only in America
........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight."

so annoying...

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I'm in love (with a stripper).


3:15 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 70
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katyduck


mr bean on crack

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Only in America are they oblivious to the fact that everything listed happens in other countries too.

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"God kissed her on the cheek and there she was."

3:15 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: June 2004 | Days Active: 1,230
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gief


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annoying

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hey there sweet thang, hows about i buy you a fish sandwich.

3:16 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: April 2005 | Days Active: 600
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littlewing


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I heard the one before but it said only in Scotland

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music is life

3:16 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 204
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xoAllixs0n


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Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? <- I can so.

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I Sip on Haterade.

3:16 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: July 2006 | Days Active: 648
Join to learn more about xoAllixs0n New York, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 13,166 | Points: 20,191
4irate


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The ending was funny,
most of those things happen in other countries BUT IT'S IN HUMOR AND JOKES FOR A REASON IDIOTS.

Post edited at 3:17 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 by 4irate

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please just follow me, I thought you wanted me cause I want
you all to myself.


3:16 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 173
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Natsy


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lulz it is quite amusingg xx

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The enticing darkness surrounds us all.
The only question is- when will you give in?
Twilight Parody - you will love it

3:16 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 448
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zAmrAmbO


06.21.08

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Shut up,

3:16 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 473
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katjassidekick


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Love how I've been to other countries and the same shit happens.

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Must be a devil between us,
  or whores in my head

3:17 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 307
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