The other day we were goofing off in his kitchen and I was teasing him. He totally didn't care but I still felt slightly guilty and meant to just be cute and say something like "But you're cute" or "But it's ok cuz your sexy." Y'know, something just to make sure he knew I was just kidding, even though it was obvious.

But, by accident, "But I love you" just slipped out.

I played it off and acted like nothing happened and just turned back to making dinner, but now I'm all worried. It's not that I don't want to say it at all, I just feel like it's too early and fuck, we're seniors in highschool. Do we really know what love is? And anyway, we prolly have to break-up at the end of the summer cuz I'm going to school on the east coast and he's probably going to the west coast or midwest.

He didn't call me on it or say anything about it or get weird, he just moved on casually with the convo too. But later that night he randomly just went "You're awesome." When I asked him what that was about he was like, "I dunno, I was just thinking about it and you really are."

And yeah that sounds really lame, but the way he said it was like... almost like he felt like he had to say something cuz of what I'd said before. I'm his first official gf, though he's had a couple almosts and plenty of hook-ups. He's really sweet and he definitely cares about me.

So now I'm all paranoid that I freaked him out with the "I love you." I mean, I'm used to dropping it in everyday convo with my friends, and we were friends before we starting dating.

So guys, he probably knows it was just a casual slip-up, right? Cuz I really don't want to chase this guy away by being inadvertently clingy.

You're fine, don't sweat it.

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a purpose to human life, no matter who is controlling it,
is to love whoever is around to be loved
- kurt vonnegut

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chill guys dont listen

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