My dad wants me to fly out to Illinois on the 24th, because of plane ticket prices I think.
My mom refused.
My dad is now taking my mom to court.

My mom is now pressureing me to go to court a say that I would rather spend christmas in Las vegas, where my mom lives.
I told her that I dont want to miss school, have them spend extra money for a plane ticket, for me to say one sentance that might not even make a diffrence.

Either way, im sure the court will come to a decision for me to spend every other christmas at my dads hosue.
Well, when I refuse to go to court, my mom says I dont care, goes on and on.
She is guilt tripping me.
And it worked.
I told her i would go.

She then calls my dad and starts stuff, tells me to talk to him.
I break down in tears and tell my dad what is going on. He talks to me, calms me down.

But now my mom is really upset with me, and I dont know what to do.

Maybe your mum just needs a wee something to show her that she's putting you in the middle? She may have done it without even realising, y'know? If that doesn't work, you could try having a chat with your dad and asking him to talk to your mum to see if they can come to some sort of agreement without putting you in the middle. That's the most important thing and they need to know that they can't do that to you.

Do you think they'd listen?

Post edited at 10:00 am on Nov. 24, 2008 by amiee

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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see

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How possible do you think it'd be to talk to your mum about this? I mean, she's using you and your emotions to get what she wants and it's really, really not fair that she's doing that to you. Divorce is hard enough without your parents making you choose sides and using you to get back at the other parents. She needs to know that she can't do that to you, y'know? Do you think she would listen to you if you sat her down and explained how all of this has made you feel? (or write a letter if you'd feel more comfortable/confident doing that). You don't have to argue with her and all that - explain how all of this has made you feel pressured and by doing the whole guilt trip when she doesn't get what she wants is making it worse. This is your life and no one should be allowed to make you feel this way, not even your parents.

Maybe your mum just needs a wee something to show her that she's putting you in the middle? She may have done it without even realising, y'know? If that doesn't work, you could try having a chat with your dad and asking him to talk to your mum to see if they can come to some sort of agreement without putting you in the middle. That's the most important thing and they need to know that they can't do that to you.

Do you think they'd listen?

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I have talked to my mom....many times...

I suppose (and this isn't the greatest conclusion to come to, I know) that perhaps you just have to go along and do what you want to do. If it makes more sense for you to visit your dad a little earlier this year or if you're happier, or at least content, with spending every other Christmas at your dad's then you have to do it and your mum will have deal with it, y'know? I know it's not the most ideal solution at all but if you've tried talking to her then all she can do is learn to live with this stuff. It's horrible and it's difficult and it can really hurt to know one parent is upset with you but she's the one (and your dad too, if he takes part in any of this) that has the problem and it's up to her to make that decision to start accepting things the way they are.

I wish there was an easier, and better, solution. Divorce is so hard, but I really do hope it works out for you. And that, in time (maybe that's all it needs? who knows), your parents will come to terms with how things have to be now.

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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see

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Oh bummer, I was hoping it was be simple but then I guess these things never are =\

I suppose (and this isn't the greatest conclusion to come to, I know) that perhaps you just have to go along and do what you want to do. If it makes more sense for you to visit your dad a little earlier this year or if you're happier, or at least content, with spending every other Christmas at your dad's then you have to do it and your mum will have deal with it, y'know? I know it's not the most ideal solution at all but if you've tried talking to her then all she can do is learn to live with this stuff. It's horrible and it's difficult and it can really hurt to know one parent is upset with you but she's the one (and your dad too, if he takes part in any of this) that has the problem and it's up to her to make that decision to start accepting things the way they are.

I wish there was an easier, and better, solution. Divorce is so hard, but I really do hope it works out for you. And that, in time (maybe that's all it needs? who knows), your parents will come to terms with how things have to be now.

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my dad is completely understanding and nice about this whole thing.
my mom hasnt talked to me for days unless its to yell at me.
Tonight she told me taht shes affraid to live in the same house as me, because im a back stabber.