LiveWire Network Peer Answers Peer Support Teen Forums Tech Forums College Forums 343 users online 221646 members 371 active today Advertise Here Sign In
TeenCollegeTechPhotos | Quizzes | LiveSecret | Memberlist | Dictionary | News | FAQ
Member Spotlight
Erebus
Erebus Pursue the Darkness Ș » Ğ
Mood: Angry
You have 1 new message.
Emergency Help
Until you sign up you can't do much. Yes, it's free.

Sign Up Now
Membername:
Password:
Already have an account?
Invite Friends
Active Members
Groups
Contests
Moderators
4 online / 12 MPM
Fresh Topics
  LiveWire / College Forums / Free & Open Discussion / Viewing Topic

Points if You Can Revise This.
Replies: 6Last Post Nov. 23, 2008 5:31pm by Allison Wonderland
Welcome to LiveWire!
We're Stronger Together.
Join the Community
Single page for this topic Email Print Favorite
( Allison Wonderland )


Quality Control Engineer
Reply
I'm usually a rather impressive writer, but I am experiencing a rather huge lack of motivation. This paper was due Friday, and I haven't gotten around to writing it. I'm finally sitting down, but I'm stumped. Revise these first few sentences so I can have a strong introduction. Hopefully that will motivate my to complete the next 6 pages.

Points to whomever has the most sophisticated revision.

The Investiture Contest, more commonly referred to as "The Investure Controversy," was a feud between Henry IV, Holy Roman Emperor, and Pope Gregory VII in the 11th century. The dispute was over the control of appointments of secular lords and bishops.

-------
Shalom, Mother Fuc*as!


5:21 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 20
Join to learn more about Allison Wonderland New York, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 554 | Points: 769
LiveWire Humor
OnOnE353


Swami

Patron
Reply
Good luck! You have none.

-------
[Insert witty, intelligent comment here]

5:22 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2007 | Days Active: 192
Join to learn more about OnOnE353 England, United Kingdom | Straight Male | Posts: 5,115 | Points: 25,062
Lally


Guru

Sustainer
Reply
The Investiture Contest, more commonly referred to as "The Investure Controversy," was a dispute between the Holy Roman Emperor, Henry IV, and Pope Gregory VII in the 11th century. The creative discussion was about the control of appointments of secular lords and bishops.

-------
♥ Lally
♥ Antigen is my official LW Husband ♥

5:23 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 345
Join to learn more about Lally Virginia, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 11,811 | Points: 21,736
uschb02


Professional
Reply
u could talk about what happens in this time?

-------
im ranked 6th in the state for the 2mile!!!!

5:23 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 122
Join to learn more about uschb02 Florida, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 1,051 | Points: 2,503
DuchessxInsanity


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
The Investiture Contest, or more commonly, "The Investiture Controversy," was conducted as a feud between Henry IV, Holy Roman Emperor, and Pope Gregory VII. Disputed in the 11th Century B.C, the feud was a result over a disagreement of the appointments of secular lords and bishops..... etc.

-------
Im the Duchess of Insanity..[Manda]

5:26 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2008 | Days Active: 87
Join to learn more about DuchessxInsanity Indiana, United States | Bisexual Female | Posts: 381 | Points: 1,285
smurflikepebbles


Personal Assistant
Reply
i hope that's not your intro. Your first sentence shouldn't say what your essay is about-but it should give them a glimpse. Dont name names.
Maybe talk about the setting. Comment about how life was during this whole controversy but dont give anything away yet. You want to catch their attention not bore them to death.

-------
"Learning how to operate a soul figures to take time" ~Timothy Leary

5:29 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 7
Join to learn more about smurflikepebbles California, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 121 | Points: 192
( Allison Wonderland )


Quality Control Engineer
Reply
Quote: from smurflikepebbles at 5:29 pm on Nov. 23, 2008

i hope that's not your intro. Your first sentence shouldn't say what your essay is about-but it should give them a glimpse. Dont name names.  
Maybe talk about the setting. Comment about how life was during this whole controversy but dont give anything away yet. You want to catch their attention not bore them to death.

This is a history paper, not a paper on something actually exciting.

And no, that's why I was asking for revisions.

-------
Shalom, Mother Fuc*as!


5:31 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 20
Join to learn more about Allison Wonderland New York, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 554 | Points: 769
Single page for this topic Email Print Favorite

Quick Reply

You are signed in as our guest.

Looking for something else?
 

  LiveWire / College Forums / Free & Open Discussion / Viewing Topic