I can't deal with this anymore. I just can't.  

I was watching a movie in the living room, minding my own business when he comes in and says he wants to check what's on tomorrow. I said fine. Then he sees some TV show that he wants to watch, but I was already watching my movie, so I told him to go look it up on the internet.  

He got all pissed off and was acting like a jerk - like every time I would turn my movie back on, he would turn it off again. And my mom was there watching the whole action.  

So then, he walked over to the power bar and turned it off. I walked over to turn it back on again and he attacked me. My mother tried to intervene, but he's way stronger than she is, so I tried to kick him in the nuts to get him away from me.  

This just made him angrier, so he went after me again and started punching me in the face.  

So, I grabbed the poker stick from the fireplace and ran behind the armchair to get away.  

And now he's blaming me, saying that he only went after me because I tried to kick him in the crotch - which I did, but it was because he came after me and I tried to defend myself.  

I can't take this anymore. He's done this more than once and it's always been over ridiculous things. He smashed my calculator and I got mad at him for it, so he slammed me into a wall and started beating me. Once, I had my iPod in and apparently the clicker was too loud for his liking, so he came over and tried to take it. I pushed him away, so he started choking me.  

He is also emotionally abusive - he tells me all the time how lazy I am, how ugly I am, how unpopular I must be because I never have friends over (because, like me, they're all in university and are too busy), how stupid I am and how my chosen career (acting) is stupid and I'll never make it and he laughs at my classes and tells me how easy they are.  

I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I was constantly bullied in junior high school and was completely ostracized by almost all of my classmates throughout junior high and high school.  

I don't know what to do. He always tries to justify his actions by saying that I started it, like pushing him away from me justifies him punching me in the face.  

My parents act like it's my fault too. I know that I do have a part in it - like, I could have let him watch his tv show and watched my movies later, but he was being a jerk to me today so I didn't want to - but how on EARTH does that qualify such abuse?

I can't take it. I have thought about killing myself more than once to get away from it. I don't know what to do. I have so much anger towards him.  

I am still crying so hard I am hyperventilating.  

He always claims that he does it because I threaten to hurt him (like I said that if he came near me, I would hit him with the poker from the fire) but it is because I am scared. I am a lot shorter than he is and I am terrified because he gets in such a rage. He could break my neck if he felt so inclined.  

Then, when I get upset, he makes all these snide comments like "Should I get you a violin?"  

I just don't know what to do.

Post edited at 11:35 pm on Nov. 28, 2008 by Anonymous

---

He sounds like a prick who needs anger management classes.

---

Yes, he does, but my parents deny it.

He's a black belt in karate and he's extremely strong, unfortunately. The only thing I can do it cover my head and try to push him or kick him away.

---

You should like video tape the abuse and show it to someone who would be able to get him into an anger management programme. Your parents can't deny it if it's on camera.

---

I guess so...but my mother just witnessed this entire attack and the blatant lie he was telling about me instigating it by kicking him in the crotch. Yet she didn't come to my defense at all...

Fuck my life.

---

Seriously, He need to go to some behavior senter. He is dangerous. You prob need to call the cops. I kinda know how you're feeling. You can message me it you like.

---

I actually started dialing 911, but the phone somehow got dropped or kicked out of my hand or something.

As far as him emotionally abusing you, there's not much else to do except block it out. Remind yourself of the truth, that you aren't lazy, ugly, etc... As with many emotionally abusive people, they want to get a rise out of you. If they don't get the reaction that they want from hurting you, then abusing you won't be as satisfactory to them.

You need to either contact the police, or contact child services. Child services can determine if your house is not a safe place to be, which would be evident from bruises, cuts, etc...

I hope this helps,
Peter

-------
And it go, eenie meenie mini mo, catch me slippin' never though
Know I keep that full clip, come and get cha super soak
Call me Mr. Cinemax, shoot you like a movie role
Hundred on the highway, let's see how fast the coupe can go

I have bruises - one on my temple and cheekbone, one of my thigh, two on my hands and a nice golfball sized lump complete with bruise on my shoulder.

My parents have agreed to family therapy, so hopefully we can figure this out. If not, then I need to move.

Thanks everybody.