i threw up about 50 times today, in 4 sessions - the most ever. the first was in the morning. the second in the afternoon. the third around 4 o clock. and the fourth around 7 or 8.

in the one at four o clock (the third vomit session) i threw up and then looked at my hand and the back was covered in blood. new blood. red blood.

it didn't happen the fourth time though, at all, and now my throat's kind of sore and swollen.

should i take off from purging for a few days?

You've probably damaged your insides.

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i spy on you too

You should stop completely. You could die.

Go to your Dr. You need help.

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the world was built on a tickle between our legs

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I would DEFINITELY take off from purging... for more than a few days. At this point you might want to look into addressing the problem.

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don't tell me i'm not fat and don't tell me it's bad for me and don't tell me to eathealthy and exercise.

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Why not? You pretty much need this information written backwards on your forehead, so you can look at yourself in the mirror every single day and maybe eventually get the idea.

Don't ask advice about handling your purging unless it's advice on how to stop.

I think you KNOW what the REAL right thing to do is, but you don't want to accept it. And the more you reject it, the worse off you will be.

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Reality continues to ruin my life.