When I was younger, my mother was depressed/suicidal. She took her anger/misery out on me. Called me names, emotionally abused me, essentially.

Fast forward about 10 years. She's better, and she has my brother. She's a totally different person. She's a great mother, to him.

Despite her changing, she still treats me like the red-headed step child. She doesn't emotionally abuse me anymore, but she kind of treats me like she doesn't want me.

Because of her abuse, I have trouble believing in myself. Not low-self esteem, but confidence. Her abuse has made me believe that I will fail at everything I do, and when I do fail, I do not take it well.

I also have to sit and watch her treat my brother with the love and care she never gave me. Sometimes, it eats away at me. This past year, I became depressed, largely in part due to this.

So...here's the deal. I can't let this control me, limit me, or eat away at me.

How can I deal with this? I've been looking at meditation or something.

As long as I allow it to eat away at me, I will never be happy or feel like myself (especially after my severe depression this year).

Do you guys have any suggestions? I'm trying to get in to a therapist, but around here, the waitlist is 3 months.

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How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
Purely because I'm sure there are youth support things for this kind of situation.

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Just turned 17 years old, and will be a senior in highschool.

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You need other people around you who can help you. You need to find other people who you can grow to love and trust.  
My cousin is still being emotionally abused, we just have to let her know that she has other people who love and her and will help her the minute she can get out of that house, you need people around that can help you.

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What if I don't have any?

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Quote: from AudibleSin at 3:14 pm on July 4, 2009

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How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?  
 Purely because I'm sure there are youth support things for this kind of situation.

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Just turned 17 years old, and will be a senior in highschool.

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Ask your school about it? Surely they must have youth programs and such. If they don't, I'd even consider helping out with things like homework and stuff to take the stress off, that's if you'd actually be comfortable with it.

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I'm going to regret this, but that's the point.
The circus only burns down once.

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Quote: from GoodFairy13 at 3:19 pm on July 4, 2009

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You need other people around you who can help you. You need to find other people who you can grow to love and trust.
 My cousin is still being emotionally abused, we just have to let her know that she has other people who love and her and will help her the minute she can get out of that house, you need people around that can help you.

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What if I don't have any?

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You need to find some.

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If you stare long enough into the darkness,
In time, you'll see someone stare back.

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Quote: from Anonymous at 11:21 pm on July 4, 2009

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Quote: from GoodFairy13 at 3:19 pm on July 4, 2009

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You need other people around you who can help you. You need to find other people who you can grow to love and trust.    
  My cousin is still being emotionally abused, we just have to let her know that she has other people who love and her and will help her the minute she can get out of that house, you need people around that can help you.

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 What if I don't have any?  
 

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You need to find some.

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Well, easier said than done.

Thanks anyways.