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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

my new poem
Replies: 9 — Last Post July 11 8:35am by belizabeth
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( belizabeth )


Enlightened One
Patron 		Reply
Still here

Waiting here
Maybe forever
Never going to give up
Nor stop
Loving you
You are the one
I love
I care about
The one who
Makes the sky seem there
Makes the world stand still
Makes my heart beat
Like never before
You are the one
I am waiting for.

what do you think? Is it deep? does it make sense?

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belizabeth is me.

6:30 pm on July 9, 2009 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 464
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Label Free Female | Posts: 8,339 | Points: 14,173
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Areola


Not A Night Light.
Sustainer
Support Leader 		Reply
Do you plan on making writing your career?
If so, DON'T.

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I was blind til you gave me a reason to look,
Now I can't look away.
My heart means nothing to you.
Your heart means everything.
6:31 pm on July 9, 2009 | Joined: Mar. 2009 | Days Active: 226
Join to learn more about Areola Kiribati | Posts: 32,430 | Points: 41,324
( belizabeth )


Enlightened One
Patron 		Reply
So what this poem may suck but I have others that are ten times better.

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belizabeth is me.
6:33 pm on July 9, 2009 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 464
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Label Free Female | Posts: 8,339 | Points: 14,173
Areola


Not A Night Light.
Sustainer
Support Leader 		Reply
Quote: from belizabeth at 9:33 pm on July 9, 2009
So what this poem may suck but I have others that are ten times better.

Good!

-------
I was blind til you gave me a reason to look,
Now I can't look away.
My heart means nothing to you.
Your heart means everything.

6:34 pm on July 9, 2009 | Joined: Mar. 2009 | Days Active: 226
Join to learn more about Areola Kiribati | Posts: 32,430 | Points: 41,324
jsia


Guru
Patron
Support Leader 		Reply
So show 'em to us.

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Me break the rules? No,i test their elasticity.
6:36 pm on July 9, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2006 | Days Active: 219
Join to learn more about jsia Australia | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 14,180 | Points: 23,043
( belizabeth )


Enlightened One
Patron 		Reply
ok....

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belizabeth is me.
6:37 pm on July 9, 2009 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 464
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Label Free Female | Posts: 8,339 | Points: 14,173
Roger25


Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
I like it, describes the feeling of love.  It is deep and passionate.  However it is short which is okay.  There are many short poems!  Of course it makes sense.  The message is quiet clear. A person is waiting for love.  Sometimes it is time to move on. Anyways well done.  Improve yourself, relax take your time and enjoy your life. =) -Denis R.
10:19 pm on July 9, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 129
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( belizabeth )


Enlightened One
Patron 		Reply
Quote: from Roger25 at 10:19 pm on July 9, 2009
I like it, describes the feeling of love. It is deep and passionate. However it is short which is okay. There are many short poems! Of course it makes sense. The message is quiet clear. A person is waiting for love. Sometimes it is time to move on. Anyways well done. Improve yourself, relax take your time and enjoy your life. =) -Denis R.

Thanks.

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belizabeth is me.

12:20 pm on July 10, 2009 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 464
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Label Free Female | Posts: 8,339 | Points: 14,173
Prankster28


Advisor 		Reply
I like it.
3:26 am on July 11, 2009 | Joined: July 2009 | Days Active: 29
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( belizabeth )


Enlightened One
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Quote: from Prankster28 at 3:26 am on July 11, 2009
I like it.

Thanks.  

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belizabeth is me.

8:35 am on July 11, 2009 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 464
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Label Free Female | Posts: 8,339 | Points: 14,173
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