If you've been going to therapy for 5 years and you've still got all of this anger and rage built up, perhaps you should switch to counselling. Sometimes it's best to talk through your problems and let everything out and vent. Also anger management classes wouldn't be a bad idea either. They help teach you how to calm yourself down and to deal with daily issues that causes your "internal bomb" to go off, and how to resolve and prevent it from happening again. Constantly wanting to kill someone isn't good for you. It isn't how you should think when someone crosses you the wrong way. There are always going to be people that are going to put you down and treat you like dirt. That's life.
Killing them won't solve it. All that will do for you is get you thrown in jail, and there will probably be someone bigger and badder than you are in there that you will comes across, and there aren't any weapons you can get ahold of in there to defend yourself.
So like I said, try counselling and perhaps anger management as well and see how things go for you.
Good luck.
(P.S.-I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to message me.)
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Life is like a
cheap prosititute.
It sucks.
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