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I don't mean to offend, but you cannot seriously consider "having friends" and "cutting" to be one in the same. It's not even a remotely effective analogy.

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I honestly don't believe that having friends is a necessary thing in life, which is why I compared it to cutting because I don't believe that's a necessary thing either.  

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Rest in peace Christopher De La Cruz[-Bixler-Zavala-Rodriguez-Lopez]
March 25, 1992 - August 4, 2009

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Quote: from mbs55 at 5:21 pm on July 6, 2009

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I don't mean to offend, but you cannot seriously consider "having friends" and "cutting" to be one in the same. It's not even a remotely effective analogy.

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I honestly don't believe that having friends is a necessary thing in life, which is why I compared it to cutting because I don't believe that's a necessary thing either.  

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Post edited at 2:27 pm on July 6, 2009 by mbs55

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10/22/78 - 1/28/09...My cousin, my best friend, and my brother...R.I.P.

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Quote: from RubberTrees at 5:03 pm on July 6, 2009

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Quote: from bluebutterfly4ever at 4:58 pm on July 6, 2009

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no it does not "Of course, cutting solves nothing" you even said it

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 You're thinking about it the wrong way.  Having friends really doesn't do anything, but you have them because...?  Of what?  They make you happy?  For some reason, right?  Now try thinking of cutting in the same way.  For some people, it actually calms them down, and it's a way to release anger or sadness.  

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I don't mean to offend, but you cannot seriously consider "having friends" and "cutting" to be one in the same. It's not even a remotely effective analogy.

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Have you ever thought of cutting?  Or have you ever done it before?  I can understand the analogy, and while it may seem farfetched to you, it has a good grounds to it.  Having friends can serve the same purpose, the difference being that it's socially acceptable.

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Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 5:07 pm on July 6, 2009

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I've thought about that.  But then again, I've always liked the thought of blood and pain...  

 I guess my issue is this... sometimes I fall into a horrible state, and the mental state I'm in hurts me more than anything.  A simple cut that's nothing medically serious or anything close stops it at that.  I'd much rather put a bandaid on an arm that sit in bed for hours trying to keep myself from screaming.  

 The main reason behind it is that I'm still convinced I deserve it in some sense... It's hard to explain, but in a sense, I'm taking an 'easy way out' and that it's too simple this way (strange, because it's MUCH harder this way in my opinion)...  

 Hopefully that kind of made some sense...

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I understand what you mean, no need to explain, since I myself am a self-harmer.

I cannot argue in the benefit of self-harm because when I actually do get into that mood, I have a tendency to want to destroy anything that I can get my hands on, and that's usually my own body. And, in the end, I'm bruised and bleeding and in extreme pain. It's a mess trying to hide the after effect, especially during the summer. However, I cannot argue against the benefit of self-harm because it does help with calming me down and from hurting others. I'd rather not to that and feel even MORE guilty.

Sometimes writing hurtful and angry e-mails/rants help. I tend to get extremely mad, and when I feel that want to destroy coming on, I sit down and I write a shit storm of insanity down and just curse and curse at what I'm mad/annoyed it. After, I delete the text, but it helps a LOT. It's sort of an alternative.

I think you just have to keep telling yourself that your self-harm does not define you.

I hope I'm not ranting or going off topic. :(

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No, not off topic.  It's a good point... that "Self-harm does not define you".  As I said in another post... it's like I need the scars, or the blood to prove a point.  To prove that something is wrong... to make it be part of who I am, in a sense.

Of course, the hardest part is getting myself to believe myself when I tell it something.  Logically, my head functions pretty well (Surprisingly!).  It's getting the emotions to agree with it -__-'.  :)

I think that in the short term it's better than dying. If the choice is kill yourself, go insane, or cut then the obvious choice is cut, much as the alcoholic's obvious choice is to drink. That doesn't make it the healthy choice though. I don't think you should cut, even though I understand why you might. I think it's unhealthy and might lead to further problems and harm to yourself. But having said that at some times it must seem like the lesser of all evils and the best possible solution and I can understand your desire to do so.

So yeah, I understand it as a coping mechanism and I think it's better than dying if that's your choice. But no, it's no more healthy than many other poor coping mechanisms. But then we all do shit we're ashamed of when we just want to cope.

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I'm the best at what I do

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No, not off topic. It's a good point... that "Self-harm does not define you". As I said in another post... it's like I need the scars, or the blood to prove a point. To prove that something is wrong... to make it be part of who I am, in a sense.

Of course, the hardest part is getting myself to believe myself when I tell it something. Logically, my head functions pretty well (Surprisingly!). It's getting the emotions to agree with it -__-'. :)

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Hah, I understand.  :P  It's more of something that you have to work on.  

One of the main reasons I self-harm is because I'm unable to get my emotions across to people, and it's easier to show than tell.  However, because of a promise (promises and cutting seem to go hand in hand!) I made, I've been working on letting my emotions be known.  I usually tend to send e-mails rather than say it face to face, it's so much easier, and even when I do that, I only tend to do it once a month at most.  

It takes a whileeee to get your emotions to go along with what you're telling yourself.  Even after almost a year of trying to fulfill that promise, I don't do it often, and only recently have I actually been "talking" about my feelings (I still tend to pussy foot around the problem, lol).  


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Rest in peace Christopher De La Cruz[-Bixler-Zavala-Rodriguez-Lopez]
March 25, 1992 - August 4, 2009

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I'm going to be different. Cutting IS a helpful strategy and and one that is a coping strategy fir many people. However it isn't healthy. I regard it in much the same way as alcoholism; it's a problem in that it's unhealthy but people do it for a reason. People cut because they want a release, because they feel that they want to express some repressed anger, because they want to show their scars as physical as well as mental, and because they like to see themselves bleed as punishment or as pleasure. It brings many of the same releases as alcoholism and is just as damaging to the person in terms of being an unhealthy coping strategy that needs replacing with something better.  

I think that in the short term it's better than dying. If the choice is kill yourself, go insane, or cut then the obvious choice is cut, much as the alcoholic's obvious choice is to drink. That doesn't make it the healthy choice though. I don't think you should cut, even though I understand why you might. I think it's unhealthy and might lead to further problems and harm to yourself. But having said that at some times it must seem like the lesser of all evils and the best possible solution and I can understand your desire to do so.

So yeah, I understand it as a coping mechanism and I think it's better than dying if that's your choice. But no, it's no more healthy than many other poor coping mechanisms. But then we all do shit we're ashamed of when we just want to cope.

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Yeah... but what about someone that isn't an alcoholic, but when something comes up, they decide to go out one night and get wasted?

If I went back to cutting now, chances are, it wouldn't be all that frequent.  I've never cut that deeply and I sterlize everything before and after.  Of course, something could happen, just like something could happen with one night of being drunk... but for the most part I'm in control.

I'm also in no means suicidal.  I think about suicide, but more because it's something I can't control.  I won't act on it (though I do worry I may lose myself one day).

In the end, I guess that doesn't change it being healthy or not.  But well, I don't know if it's also healthy to be in emotional pain as well.

I dunno... I keep telling myself I should buy one of those stress balls... like the one's you squeeze.  Something makes me feel like that will solve all my problems!

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Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 5:29 pm on July 6, 2009

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No, not off topic.  It's a good point... that "Self-harm does not define you".  As I said in another post... it's like I need the scars, or the blood to prove a point.  To prove that something is wrong... to make it be part of who I am, in a sense.  

 Of course, the hardest part is getting myself to believe myself when I tell it something.  Logically, my head functions pretty well (Surprisingly!).  It's getting the emotions to agree with it -__-'.  :)

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Hah, I understand. :P It's more of something that you have to work on.

One of the main reasons I self-harm is because I'm unable to get my emotions across to people, and it's easier to show than tell. However, because of a promise (promises and cutting seem to go hand in hand!) I made, I've been working on letting my emotions be known. I usually tend to send e-mails rather than say it face to face, it's so much easier, and even when I do that, I only tend to do it once a month at most.

It takes a whileeee to get your emotions to go along with what you're telling yourself. Even after almost a year of trying to fulfill that promise, I don't do it often, and only recently have I actually been "talking" about my feelings (I still tend to pussy foot around the problem, lol).

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I do tend to keep to myself.  But I never let cutting speak for me.  I didn't tell anyone, and no one ever knew.  Not until I snapped one day and told my parents... and all I got from my dad was, "Why are you doing this to me?".  And when my mother brought it up some months later and asked if I still cut, I said no and stated because my boyfriend had asked me to.  And all she said was, "You stopped for him, but you wouldn't stop for us."

It's amazing how a sentence can stay with you.  But needless to say, showing emotions often times causes me more trouble.  I'm lucky, because I do have my boyfriend who I can talk to and am open with.  He puts up with me (not sure how), but we even have a system that when I get into a mood, he'll bring me paper and pen so we can 'talk'.  Because when I get upset, I go silent.  Sometimes I won't talk for hours unless absolutely necessary... but writing is much easier (As you said).

I haven't cut in a long time, but I've spent many years trying to control my emotions.  I've had some improvement, but nothing really significant for the time I've spent on it :).  But at least it's something.

I guess I see depression as a weakness for me (though I don't consider it a weakness for someone else).  Who knows... I suppose it's just a game you have to keep on playing...

Yeah, you may get a small sense of relief from cutting, but as i said. long term is better. try going to see a therapist, or talking to an adult you trust. that will help much more then cutting. yes, it does make sense. but sadly, it wont help. relapses are normal, and promises arent the best thing to do because then you feel terrible if you break it.

If you do need help, feel free to message me. im also struggling to overcome this. good luck.

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Renegade_riot is my lover.8.30.07.
-Be My Star.Ill Be Your Sky.Baby I Live To Let U Shine