I went through an eating disorder for about... I guess six or seven months. Won't go into details, but I guess it was never *too* bad. That said, I'm doing okay now. I'm eating normally, I'm not overexercising and lately I've been feeling pretty okay about my appearance.
But the thoughts have never gone away. I still get impulses to purge, I still obsessively keep track in my head of everything I'm eating, and I guess it goes without saying that I have many days where I feel like complete shit and almost break my "good" streak.
I don't want to be doing this forever. It's exhausting and stressful and I don't want this anymore. So... does anyone know? Does an ED ever just let go?
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DaisyMontana
Visionary
If you're suffering that there... you can't live in Manhattan...
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The Wolfhound
Visionary
Doctor
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( deerheart )
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Quote: from DaisyMontana at 1:40 pm on July 9, 2009
If you're suffering that there... you can't live in Manhattan...
I beg your pardon?
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twisted angel
Executive Support Leader
I guess your not completely over your ED, do you see a doctor or a councellor about any of this?
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amber10lynne
Wealthy Hobo
Its good you are eating normally now. it takes a lot of strength to take back control. but honestly i dont think the urges ever go away. you always keep track of the calorie count for that day in your head, and keep track of how much you have worked out during the day. it is always on your mind, i know from experience. im always counting calories and such. yeah, it is stressful and takes a tole on the body. restricting what you need always will. and worrying about what your doing will too. but i suggest you go out and try to get help for it before it becomes to big of a problem. good luck hun.
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( deerheart )
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Thanks for the replies. twisted angel; no I don't see anybody about it. I went to the school counsellor a couple of times but she didn't really know anything about eating disorders lol. thx amber10lynne, too. your post was helpful at least in the sense that I don't feel like I'm a fluke for still feeling like this. =]
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xxfleurxx
Quality Control Engineer
i hope all those thoughts leave you and you can live your life happily :)
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Scarlet Tears
Soothsayer Patron Support Leader
I am the same as you. I even saw the school councillor and they don't know shit either. Just know that you aren't alone and ever so slowly these thoughts will fade away. Stay strong :)
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newmie66
Guru Support Leader
It's great that you're eating normally now. That's obviously a huge step from where you were when you were suffering from an eating disorder. I recovered from two years of anorexia and I know exactly what you're talking about. Those thoughts will go away with time as long as you don't give into them. I always think of it like my mind is keeping me in check. I am finding that I think about calories and fat less and less each day. Stay strong!
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