Nothing hugely traumatic happened in my past to result in depression, I just... got depressed. When you're thinking a lot about bad things that have happened to you, you will probably need counselling, even if you do start taking anti-depressants. It can help a lot to have someone to talk to.

so i have 5 years of bullshit engraved into my mind that i'm constantly thinking about on a daily basis. i really hope its not too late...

i know what you mean though

I was on citalopram for a while, and it helped me lots and lots. But this was only because I'd learnt to deal with everything in my past and had no actual reason to feel depressed, other than the fact that I just was. There was nothing playing on my mind, no reason to set me off into hysterics. I suffered from depression, and the anti-depressants helped.

If you have a reason for your depression other than a chemical imbalance, then they're not really going to do much. You will most likely only feel even shittier, seeing as they'll make it so much harder to express your emotions, harder to cry. Your best bet is to give counselling a go, talk things through, get them into the open and start coming to terms with what's went on over those 5 years you've spoken about. It'll take a long time and it's not going to be easy, but if you really don't want to feel like this anymore then you'll do it.

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"God kissed her on the cheek and there she was."