I don't wanna loose you <3 -- LiveWire Teen Forums

Okay so like I have stated before, I am dating the love of my life. It will we be 2 months Wednesday. We have had our ups and downs, but whatever we might get ourselves into, when we get out of them it always seems to make us stronger in the end. The first major down we had was when my friend Will kissed me. At first he was only mad at Will, Until I told him that later that day, Will walked me home and I made out with him. He was upset, but I told him I was truly mistaken and he forgave me. Then, he found out I kissed a kid named Everett in Truth or Dara. He again forgave me. What he doesn't know id that I let Everett finger me and I gave him a hand job and we kissed again a little. He doesn't know about that, and he doesn't know about the time me and Austin went to his grandma's house alone and almost had sex. He ate me out and we kissed and he fingered me, and I gave him 2 hickies, and he sucked on my boobs. The night before that I went to Paul's house and Sam was there and really drunk. I was sober, but we kissed and cuddled just a little, which I know is not okay. My boyfriend does not know about this either. But I feel like a cheating whore. I am a cheating whore. I don't know why I do these tings. I know it's wrong and I still do it. I know he deffinatley doesn't like it and there is no way he deserves any of this and he would never do this to me. I have stopped. I have cut off all contact with these other guys. One of my best friends Nicole is helping me too. We are constantly together, ecspecially this summer, because she doesn't want me to make another stupid mistake. And I have made many of those. I have only ever had sex with my boyfried, nobody else, but it's still not right to cheat on him. I have tried telling him yesterday, and I was gonna, but he knew something was going on. He said, "Jamie, I know something is going on. I love you but I promised my self I wouldn't give you more than 2 chances and I have given you 3. I just can't take the hurt anymore." How am supposed to tell him when he says something like that? I really don't wanna loose the love of my life, but It's not fair to keep this from him. I hope he will forgive me, but that will be a maricle. I have no right to be forgivin. I wouldn't be surprised if he never talked to me again. What should I do? I am going to die without him. I won't even be able to cry because I think I'll be dead inside.

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I never knew, I never knew that everthing was falling through.

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