i want to help out my friends, but they don't really talk about it. i don't know how to basically, ease into it. They don't really seem normal, it's evident that they are suffering. I tried to give them words of comfort, but i don't really know much. I try to make them laugh, but i don't know what they find funny.

if someone is suffering, and they don't tell you what is bothering them, what would you do? like... what would you say...?

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I have more conversations with dialtones than i do with people.

They really just need you to be their friend. It's nice to know that some things are still there and normal and they can focus on something else away from their families. If you're trying to bring it up unwelcomed, that could be part of what's getting them down around you. Let them escape it for a while, eh?

If they do mention it, ask if they're ok. Only if they insinuate that they'd like a show of concern do you ask about what happened. When they talk about what happened and how they're feeling, you should actively listen. As in, give them feedback to show that you're comprehending what they're saying and are empathizing.

A mistake a lot of people make about depressed friends is telling them how good they have it by talking about other thing they like, so they shouldn't be sad. That's basically telling someone their sadness is unjustified. Try not to do that or to trivialize their problems. If they want to be serious, you should take them seriously. That's a huge way to offer support.


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click and please click
^use head phones

You can try to make them happier, in the form of making a nice joke or two. Possibly tickling them if you know them to that point, I'm assuming you do. Like Bears said, you have to be in a mindset to enjoy the playfulness, and you've got to keep that in mind and not hold that against them.

You could also at that point, comfort them in the sense that you've been there, and done that. You've been through a lot, and I know this, you can use your experiences to anchor down hope that everything will get better. It might work sometimes and it might not.

When nothing works, you'll just have to give them space. The space may not sound pleasing now, but it's their life and they may want to spend time alone to mentally get this all straight in their head.

I'm hoping that something out of this will become beneficial to you.

It's ok not to know what to do sometimes. I mean, perhaps you don't have much experience with what is happening to them. Perhaps you don't know what is going on with them and sometimes they don't want to talk about it, so there's no way for you to give advice. But see advice isn't the only way to make a person feel better. As a friend you should try to be there for them whenever you can. Just talk to them and make sure to make them feel appreciated. At time like these they probably have a low self-esteem, so you need to let them know how much they are worth and one of the ways to do that is to be with them. Don't let them feel lonely. Even if you just go there to chat about anything. They will appreciate it. If they ever talk about their problems then tell them something that comes right out of your heart. Something that you feel might help them a bit.

-Soledad

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I love her ;)