i wouldn't have normally made this topic not anon but i know to many people in real life that go on this website and i dont want them yo see this.  

anyway, the reason i dont like eating is because i like to feel like i have control over myself, and i can make the numbers drop on the scale, and i like that my clothes which were once tight on my are now loose and baggie.

my friends are noticing my lack of eating and are starting to get angry they throw food at me. at the start of school they would ask what did i eat for breakfast and i would lie. at recess i would go to my locker and take a long time, then i would go with other peoples lockers with them. and then i would go to the bathroom and fix up my hair, and the bell would ring. thats how i would get out of eating at recess, at lunch i would hide out in the library.  

i get upset when they get angry at me for not eating. I want controll over my body, i know they are worried about me but they cant force me to eat.  

i want them to stop stressing, so i will fake eat for now on. i will hold fod in my hand pretend to eat some, hide is and then throw it away. and with dinner i will give it to my dog.  

i want to be thin mabey people will like me better, i have measure my stomach, waist, legs, wrists and arm with a tap measurement and i am going to record it every 2 weeks to see if im loosing weight i am also going to weigh myself. and if anyone ever asks me if im eating i will lie and say "yes".

sorry rant, im so fucked up.

Post edited at 4:20 am on Mar. 13, 2010 by Anonymous