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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic

just wanted to say it.
Replies: 2Last Post Mar. 12 3:58pm by CassidyMat
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Web Resources: Suicide Myths Dispelled, Suicide Information
USA Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
( CassidyMat )


Quality Control Engineer
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I've been depressed for a while and I really don't think I want to keep living. I can't imagine it ever getting better. When I think about the future I don't even see anything, because I don't think I want to be around that long. But there are so many things holding me back. My family and my friends - I don't want to worry them or anything. All I want is for them to be happy, get on with their lives. And then I remember that in a few years they'll be gone anyway, and it won't upset them as much. And sometimes I remember all the good things about life but then I realise that they're all slipping away from me anyway, and they don't outweigh all the bad things, all the pain. Also, I sort of promised someone, who I sort of care about and he sort of cares enough about me to make me promise this, that I wouldn't try to kill myself. He said he's had one kid before who attempted it and one who succeeded, and he wants to know he doesn't have to worry about me. He said that he thinks I'm a strong kid and I'll get over it someday, but to be honest I'm a bit sick of being strong, I'm sick of having to hang in there for everyone else's sake. It's probably quite selfish, but I want to be able to make these decisions based only on what I feel. I feel like I want to die, but I remember all the people I'd be leaving behind and I'm not sure if I can do it.
Sorry, I know it's long. Just wanted to let it all out.

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With fingernails that shine like justice,
and a voice that is dark like tinted glass.

12:58 pm on Feb. 18, 2010 | Joined: Jan. 2010 | Days Active: 56
Join to learn more about CassidyMat England, United Kingdom | Straight Female | Posts: 175 | Points: 754
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Bundy

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Thanks for letting it all out. I really appreciate your bravery for letting down your defenses and letting people know more about you. There's nothing wrong with letting it out, and I'd suggest you let it out more often. Cry if you have to. The truth is that letting it out will definitely help you deal with depression.

You seem to have the general concept about suicide, so I'm not going to try and convince you to not commit suicide because you already know the consequences.

The truth is that I don't think you really can commit suicide because deep within, you really don't want to. The only thing that is holding you back is your chemical imbalance in the brain that's telling you to commit suicide. And I implore you to not listen to that part of your brain. I know that it hurts, and I know that you feel like doing, but why don't you go lift weights or something? If you keep your mind occupied, you won't think about depressing things as much.

I promise you that's there's a way out. There's always a way out, BUT you have to walk in the right direction. You gotta start focusing on the more positive things in life even if you're depressed, otherwise you'll still be in the middle of a dark tunnel. You see the way out, you just don't know how to get there. It's all about patience, and walking with your head held high. Eventually, you will get there and you'll be so much more happier than you were. If you put forth an effort to be more positive, I guarantee you that you'll get there.

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"I can assure you no one's playing around." - Niick


7:53 pm on Feb. 19, 2010 | Joined: Dec. 2009 | Days Active: 115
Join to learn more about Bundy South Dakota, United States | GLBT Ally Male | Posts: 2,349 | Points: 3,373
( CassidyMat )


Quality Control Engineer
Reply
Thank you.

-------
With fingernails that shine like justice,
and a voice that is dark like tinted glass.

3:58 pm on Mar. 12, 2010 | Joined: Jan. 2010 | Days Active: 56
Join to learn more about CassidyMat England, United Kingdom | Straight Female | Posts: 175 | Points: 754
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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic