The definitive guide to being cool and edgy on the internet. -- LiveWire Teen Forums

Don't be all srs bsns on the internet
No one likes someone with a stick shoved up their ass. If you spend your time arguing with everyone, eventually you are going to be the idiot who takes a joke thread seriously and look like a dumbass. Maybe make a poll satirizing the internet.
Be edgy and cool on the internet
Think of something no one as thought of before. (or at least something no one has thought of in the last month) Come out of no where with something original (again, original meaning "hasn't been done in a while) Maybe making one of the bullet points of your guide on how to be edgy and cool on the internet is the exact same thing as the title of the guide. Then someone will call you out on it, and you can use bullet point one and 3 on them.
Be cynical towards internet memes
Incessantly complain about how retarded and repetitive they are. Obviously no one finds them funny, because that's how they got to be memes in the first place.... by being unfunny.
Make yourself elusive and mysterious
After a good 3 years of camwhoring, it's time to pull back. All the hot people on your forum already know you are hot anyways. There's no harm in getting the best of both worlds now. Be all private about yourself, it gets you more attention. Take candid shots, sepia them, or use other automatic photoshop effects to hide your face. A process that only takes you a few minutes and allows you to look artsy.
Be artsy
This one is important. You need to look indie, alternative, or otherwise non mainstream to be cool on the internet. Make sure you have a username that's metaphorical. This username should always start with "The".
Use the phrase "the internet" whenever possible When you say "the internet" at the end of the phrase, it devalues the internet as a place that doesn't really matter. Thus you look standoffish and cool. If you find yourself breaking the first rule in an argument with someone breaking the first rule, this is a good way to win. "LOL ITS THE INTERNET LOL" and post the following image:

What the fuck, David, why is this not looking right, you're fucking retarded!! Learn to web design, noob!
Find a way to destroy the formatting of a website, then make fun of the web designer for not closing your hole.
Even if your hole is impossibly retarded and stupid, it's still a hole! You can look rally smrt by destroying the formatting. Maybe make an account called WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW then close it with a long string of W's.
dont use grammar or formatting its above you. then be vague about an idea and call someone an idiot for not understanding the bullshit you are talking about
Say "cool story bro"
Cool story, bro.
Make a guide about the internet
Make a guide on how to be cool on the internet. If you make this guide all sarcastically/satirically, you will be considered e-cool. You may even get your thread modpicked for being edgy and cool. Feel free to make this guide again once it's been forgotten about.
Destroy someone else's e-coolness
For example, the first post to this thread should be a link to the last thread that was made that was exactly like this. If you do this, then you steal all the e-cool momentum that was gained by the OP of the thread by showing how unoriginal they were.

Post edited at 9:54 am on Oct. 13, 2009 by Wolf

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