But I have a boyfriend, of 5 years. Who has hurt me ALOT with cheating and lying. But I'm in love with him.

I told the guy, I didn't have a boyfriend and we started to get to know each other and I grew fonder and fonder of him.

I introduced my friend to the guy and she let it slip that I had a boyfriend, which he would of found out eventually because lies never stay hidden. He said he was heartbroken and that he'd lost all trust in me. All I wanted to do was make it up to him. To make it clear I haven't done anything with this guy, just hugged.

I've thought for days on end about who I want to be with, I can't make a decision, I don't want to hurt anyone.

I am not this sort of person, I hate leading a double life, it's stressful, it's making me ill, I've lost my appetite, it's caused insomnia.

I can't live with myself anymore, what are you supposed to do when you annoy yourself? You can't run and hide from yourself. It's getting me down and I don't know what to do anymore. I just can't take it.

The guy just tells me he loves me everyday but won't say much else to me. I can't face the fact that I've hurt him.

I am a horrible human being.

It's staring you in the face but you're looking right past it.

You may be 'in love' with this boyfriend, but if he cheats and hurts you, why would you want him.

You have a horrible current boyfriend on one hand and a 'perfect guy' on the other hand.

It's hard, but if you want to be happy, I think you know the best option. You need to choose who YOU think is right for you. If it IS Mr. Perfect. then you'll have to explain just how stupid you were and how you regret it. If he loves you, he would love to see you choosing him. You just need to choose who you think is right, who you think will make you most happy.

Post edited at 2:02 pm on Oct. 15, 2009 by Hi Carie

-------
Do not abandon yourselves to despair.
We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.

Pope John Paul II

First off, the double life thing does have to stop. It's only going to continue to hurt you and the people around you. Can you honestly say that you're happy lying to the people you say you care about? If you really truly care about them then you would want to be honest with them. Sure, ignorance is bliss according to some but the truth will set you free.  

I understand that you love your current boyfriend and that's only expected since you two have been together so long, but with him doing all of those things can you honestly tell yourself that he loves you as well? In my experience, a cheater is always a cheater. Everyone has a different situation and looks at things differently though. When someone in a relationship cheats and starts lying that is a really hard thing to go through. All the trust is lost and the sense of security seems to be missing. From the way you put it, it sounds as though he has cheated and/or lied to you multiple times? If he has then why would you still want to be with him? All that does is show that he doesn't care about you and doesn't care about the way he treats you. You deserve so much more than that. A relationship can only work if both people are trying and putting forth effort, it's obvious that he is not doing so. Think to yourself, can you really see this relationship continuing and you being truly happy?  

I think that the only thing you can do to make it up to the other guy is to make a decision though. You hurt him, yes, but he knows we all make mistakes. You're not perfect and neither is he. Communication is a huge part of relationships, any type, and I think that's what you need to do with him. You need to explain things to him. Open up and let him know about everything that is going on inside of your head. I assure you that if he truly loves you he will understand and try to help you make your decision. You can't keep messing with his head though because not everyone will wait around forever.

You're right, you can't go and hide from yourself. You need to face the things you've been doing.

The important thing right now is to be honest with both your current boyfriend and the other guy. You may hurt them, but it will only hurt them worse if you keep dragging this out. It's not fair to either of them and it surely is not fair to you. You deserve to be happy, you don't need to be stressing yourself out so much over a guy.

Take into consideration all of the good things about each guy and all of the bad things. It is inevitable that you hurt one guy, but it will be better that way. That guy will then be able to move on and you will be able to be stress free and happy with yourself. Make the decision that is best for you, no regrets. Good luck.

Post edited at 7:01 pm on Oct. 15, 2009 by Areola

-------
She's gone.
She gave me a pen.
I gave her my heart,
she gave me a pen.

---

You're not a horrible human being because you're unsure of your feelings. Of course it's not right to lie to either guy, but I think most people will be able to sympathize with why you did it.

First off, the double life thing does have to stop. It's only going to continue to hurt you and the people around you. Can you honestly say that you're happy lying to the people you say you care about? If you really truly care about them then you would want to be honest with them. Sure, ignorance is bliss according to some but the truth will set you free.

I understand that you love your current boyfriend and that's only expected since you two have been together so long, but with him doing all of those things can you honestly tell yourself that he loves you as well? In my experience, a cheater is always a cheater. Everyone has a different situation and looks at things differently though. When someone in a relationship cheats and starts lying that is a really hard thing to go through. All the trust is lost and the sense of security seems to be missing. From the way you put it, it sounds as though he has cheated and/or lied to you multiple times? If he has then why would you still want to be with him? All that does is show that he doesn't care about you and doesn't care about the way he treats you. You deserve so much more than that. A relationship can only work if both people are trying and putting forth effort, it's obvious that he is not doing so. Think to yourself, can you really see this relationship continuing and you being truly happy?

I think that the only thing you can do to make it up to the other guy is to make a decision though. You hurt him, yes, but he knows we all make mistakes. You're not perfect and neither is he. Communication is a huge part of relationships, any type, and I think that's what you need to do with him. You need to explain things to him. Open up and let him know about everything that is going on inside of your head. I assure you that if he truly loves you he will understand and try to help you make your decision. You can't keep messing with his head though because not everyone will wait around forever.

You're right, you can't go and hide from yourself. You need to face the things you've been doing.

The important thing right now is to be honest with both your current boyfriend and the other guy. You may hurt them, but it will only hurt them worse if you keep dragging this out. It's not fair to either of them and it surely is not fair to you. You deserve to be happy, you don't need to be stressing yourself out so much over a guy.

Take into consideration all of the good things about each guy and all of the bad things. It is inevitable that you hurt one guy, but it will be better that way. That guy will then be able to move on and you will be able to be stress free and happy with yourself. Make the decision that is best for you, no regrets. Good luck.

---

Thankyou so much :) that was a great help :)