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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

Poem I wrote today
Replies: 5 — Last Post Nov. 9 7:33pm by ird13
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( Play4Keepz )


Grasshopper 		Reply
Encounter with Venus

Mesmerized by her scent
The sunshine in her eyes
The softness of her skin
Intoxicated with desire I cater to her every whim
Warm salty oceans spray
A torrid summers wind
The mingling of our breaths
Forsaking all others I promise thru my fingertips

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I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against
every form of tyranny over the mind of man!

7:19 pm on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2009 | Days Active: 2
Join to learn more about Play4Keepz Florida, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 35 | Points: 56
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selenceXvamp122


Novice 		Reply
Thats awesome :) i post all mine on dA

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What is everyone searching for if perfection does not exist?
7:19 pm on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2009 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about selenceXvamp122 Florida, United States | Posts: 7 | Points: 17
Elizabeth1114


Executive 		Reply
That's really good .

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"If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything."
— Marilyn Monroe
7:21 pm on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Jan. 2009 | Days Active: 170
Join to learn more about Elizabeth1114 New Jersey, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 1,323 | Points: 3,088
BeccyLynn


Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
thats beautiful!!!!

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*I love my babi(Benny)*
7:22 pm on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Mar. 2009 | Days Active: 67
Join to learn more about BeccyLynn Tennessee, United States | Bisexual Female | Posts: 824 | Points: 1,687
( Play4Keepz )


Grasshopper 		Reply
Quote: from selenceXvamp122 at 7:19 pm on Nov. 9, 2009
Thats awesome :) i post all mine on dA

dA is deviantArt rite? and thanx all 4 their feedback or any suggestions they might have... i know the poems short, but its 2 the point

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I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against
every form of tyranny over the mind of man!

7:26 pm on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2009 | Days Active: 2
Join to learn more about Play4Keepz Florida, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 35 | Points: 56
ird13


Wealthy Hobo
Ad Free 		Reply
It's very well written and has a good use of language. Although I prefer darker poems, I can certainly appreciate happy ones :D

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"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens
to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with,
but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
7:33 pm on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 184
Join to learn more about ird13 Ohio, United States | Bisexual Female | Posts: 2,176 | Points: 5,937
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