Brain Cancer:
This cancer turns you into a drooling retard idiot, like Gothreaper.

Melanoma:
How karma pays back white privilege.

Jewkemia:
This is the worst cancer ever. It is caused by the dreaded Sheeny Curse, an ancient curse that Jews use to kill people and steal their money.

 Breast cancer:
The only way to cure the bitches who won't make your fucking sandwiches.
   
I stole this by the way

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Death to all BUT metal \m/