this girl i used to dig big time seems like... she's found someone else. their relationship doesn't even make sense to me, because it just... isn't her. i know someone in my position would say this, but this... just isn't her.

everything was amazing... and then she just... disappeared.

she didn't say goodbye. she didn't even end things with me.

... and then out the blue she emails me... and we start talking, and we talk for a good eight hours straight... and then she just... stops again.

... and then he comes into the picture. he's such a fucking asshole. again, i know someone in my position would say this, but, it's true. he shoots her down, and says some pretty mean shit... and she just plays it off like nothing. he talks to her like a piece of meat.

i didn't freak out... at first. i tried talking to her about it in a non-creeperesque way, but she just told me it was nothing... and really didn't say any more. he went back home.

her best friend told me that she talks to him pretty much every night, and it sounds like something is... becoming more than just... a friendship.

... and then she tells me she's moving away. she was supposed to leave two months ago, but is still here. she told me that she might even be moving an hour away from this guy.

she won't even see me now. or even talk to me... and i'm worried i'm going to lose her for good.

so i was pretty much just all, 'why is it you'd tell me you love me, how is it you act like you feel nothing now, how is it you're moving on etc. etc.' and she just told me... that it was life, and things just happen.

... but then i told her that it was obviously her decision to just... ignore me for no fucking reason, and things just don't happen, this happened because she wanted it to happen... and that i didn't understand why... and she didn't say anything after that... and that's just... really how it is right now.

this just isn't her. her deciding to move, her going for a total douche... and her just... giving up for no reason. she's even starting to push her friends away... and now all she does is just... talk to this guy.

ps. i'm not just some guy who had this picture perfect idea of that i was going to marry this girl and we'd live happily forever... i can't really describe just how well we connected... just... how easy everything was.

... and now it just seems to me it's all, 'oh well, just suck it up and move on.'

i don't want to lose her.