"Rob,

I do not feel like I can accept this. I think that you should keep it for you and your memories or maybe wait and give it to your girl. I just do not feel it is my place to take your jersey. -I gave her my hockey jersey to wear to my games.-

On a different note I think the reason we go through our times of talking and not are due to you crossing a line I'm not sure you're aware of. By this I don't want you to get depressive and not talk to me at all. Just learn your boundaries. Also when I open up like I did I feel uncomfortable and regret it. This is my fault and I should know my limits. For some reason I just recoil. -She told me her biggest secret, that she hasn't told anyone before. she prob never will either.-

Today when I said you embarrassed me it was true but I didn't have to come so harshly. I'm sorry. Do not feel like an asshole, you aren't one. -She wrote an article for the local paper and I was proud of her so I bought the paper and highlighted the article and left it on the senior table for all to see.-

I am really sorry for this. I should have said no from the beginning and this wouldn't have happened.

Please do not resort to self injury or any other form of destructive habits. You're still able to talk to me. Don't feel like you cant.

Deej."

I've been her best friend for almost 3 years, shes had a boyfriend since.

And I love her.

Serious help please, Idk what to do now...

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So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false.
The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's going to change.
I'm going to change.

These situations are always hard, honestly. You're not the only person who has gone through something like this. Even if it sounds cliche I can tell you that I have/am going through something similar but different in a way.

Being in love with your best friend when they don't love you back just seems to make things complicated. As she told you through what she wrote there are limits but you just aren't aware of them or just don't seem to mind crossing. You're her best friend and should at least try to respect how she's feeling. It's conflicting when you feel one way but she's pushing you towards the other, I get it.

She does have a boyfriend though. With that being said you have to back off. I understand what it's like to be in love with someone (your best friend) and having them be with someone else or even think of them being with someone else, it hurts worse than anything I've felt before.

What I'm trying to say though is that if you truly love her and she is your best friend then you will put her happiness before your desires. Would you rather risk this friendship by continuously trying and crossing those lines or would you rather keep the friendship by staying on the sidelines. Of course there are pros and cons to each but it's ultimately up to you what you feel is in your best interest.

Some times the best thing we can do is to stay silent. I believe that what is meant to be, will be. If there's meant for something more between you two then by backing off for a little while won't change that.

You have to decide what to do though. Are you willing to risk it or would you rather let things play out as they may?

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The truth is you could slit my throat,
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.