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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Dating & Relationships / Viewing Topic

I want her back but im with someone else
Replies: 9 — Last Post Nov. 9 9:03am by LoveKay
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( Chelios )


Wealthy Hobo
Sustainer 		Reply
I want her back bc weve been talking alot lately and she wants me back and me and her were going out for 5 years before we split and we only split bc she was going to college but the job i had that was keeping me from moving out to kirksville with her is gone so i have nothing tying me down now and i wanna be with her so bad but im with someone else and weve been together for 3 mos and its nice but i wanna be able to just go with me ex but the girl im with is really good and id feel terrible if i broke her heart like that and i dont know what to do. there is no way to have both.  

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7:50 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 182
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Spuddlesworth


Omnipotent One
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Do you still love aforementioned girl?  Could you see marriage on the cards perhaps?
7:54 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: July 2005 | Days Active: 548
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Jennifer2910


Technician 		Reply
i would understand if that was me. I would just want to know y so if i was u i would tell her and then ya.
7:56 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Oct. 2009 | Days Active: 24
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Periwinkle


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Support Leader 		Reply
It sounds like you were in a pretty serious relationship with this girl. How were things before you split up? How long ago was it? How serious were things between you? How would she feel about you moving out to Kirksville? Can you get a job out there?

It sounds like you're in a good relationship now, but you obviously still want what you had with your ex. If you were in a serious relationship with her and you're willing to do what it takes - move out there, get a job there, end it with the new girl for her - then I think you should go back to your ex.

However, something else to consider is why you didn't press to stay together even though she went away to college. Just a thought...

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7:58 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Sep. 2006 | Days Active: 924
Join to learn more about Periwinkle England, United Kingdom | GLBT Ally Female | Posts: 17,648 | Points: 33,656
( Chelios )


Wealthy Hobo
Sustainer 		Reply
Quote: from Spuddlesworth at 7:54 am on Nov. 9, 2009
Do you still love aforementioned girl? Could you see marriage on the cards perhaps?

yea def. like i said the only reason we split was bc she went to college. We decided if i move out there we would be together. and i know it will work between us in the long run because we were planning on it anyway but my job got in the way and they just downsized so i lost it. So now i can find a job out there. but the girl im with now she really cares about me alot and i care for her alot too so i have 2 people that i dont wanna hurt but if i dont go i hurt her but if i do go i hurt the girl at home.

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7:59 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 182
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( Chelios )


Wealthy Hobo
Sustainer 		Reply
Quote: from Periwinkle at 7:58 am on Nov. 9, 2009
It sounds like you were in a pretty serious relationship with this girl. How were things before you split up? How long ago was it? How serious were things between you? How would she feel about you moving out to Kirksville? Can you get a job out there?

It sounds like you're in a good relationship now, but you obviously still want what you had with your ex. If you were in a serious relationship with her and you're willing to do what it takes - move out there, get a job there, end it with the new girl for her - then I think you should go back to your ex.

However, something else to consider is why you didn't press to stay together even though she went away to college. Just a thought...

bc i had a 45k a year job. i was gonna do that for a while and i did for six months. i have 20k in the bank now which can tide me over out there without a job for ~2 years. so it can work but i just dont know what to do.

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8:02 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 182
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brandy charlie brown


Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
....you know....everyone gets put in situations like or similar to this, and they all do the same thing. they ask everyone what they would do, but in the end they end up only doing what they were going to do in the end. what other people say never changes their mind...im not saying this to be a bitch, there is a point...think back to when you found out that your job wasnt tieing you down, when you found out she still wanted you, and you still wanted her? what did you want to do then, if it was a spur of the moment thing? ya i know you dont wanna leave your new girl...but does she tug on your heart like the last girl, can sge make you feel the same way or even better than the last girl? if your answer is no, then i say take a min....and dont think about it, but instead thing of something totally differnt, and then out of no where come up with a decision...chance will alwasy be there for you just as they are there for everyone else, all you have to do is want something and let your self have it. great things come to those who wait...but great doesnt always mean good....so dont wait to long to make up your mind

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Scars heal,glory fades and all ur left with are the memories made.
Pain hurt but only 4 a minute.Go on & do it cause us chick dig it
8:03 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Jan. 2009 | Days Active: 69
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WhoreosandMilk


Technician 		Reply
someones gonna get hurt either way..you just gotta pick one out of 3. and if you pick yourself remember your always gonna wonder..what if? trust me..shes not gonna wait forever. by the time you make up your mind shell have moved on..so hurry up the mental process..this happens to me constantly..


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8:04 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2009 | Days Active: 3
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Spuddlesworth


Omnipotent One
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Quote: from breath inbreath out at 3:59 pm on Nov. 9, 2009
Quote: from Spuddlesworth at 7:54 am on Nov. 9, 2009
Do you still love aforementioned girl?  Could you see marriage on the cards perhaps?

yea def. like i said the only reason we split was bc she went to college. We decided if i move out there we would be together. and i know it will work between us in the long run because we were planning on it anyway but my job got in the way and they just downsized so i lost it. So now i can find a job out there. but the girl im with now she really cares about me alot and i care for her alot too so i have 2 people that i dont wanna hurt but if i dont go i hurt her but if i do go i hurt the girl at home.

God it sounds like you're in a complete and utter dilemma here.  Is there really a right answer to this?

Only you can really know what the right choice is.

If you did decide to go back with the original girl, you could at least try and stay on friendly terms with the new girl.  I mean, you wouldn't be leaving her on bad terms presumably?  It's not that you don't like girl 2, it's just that girl 1 and you have such a history already established?

Then again, you obviously don't want girl 2 being weirdly strung along kind of in a weird friendship but still with feelings for you maybe despite you being back with girl 1.

It's for exactly these sorts of situations why someone needs to invent the "neuraliser" from Men in Black.

8:16 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: July 2005 | Days Active: 548
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LoveKay


Guru
Patron
Support Leader 		Reply
Well what matters more? You know if you get back with your ex you are going to first have to ask yourself questions like are you ready to be with one person for a very long time? Are you ready to settle down for good and never look the same at a girl again? I know it isn't like you're getting married, but because you and your ex were together for five years before splitting, getting back together will put things back into serious mode even if for some reason you guys try not to. You are going to have to do sacrifices for your ex and if you want to get back together with her, you might as well be okay with the idea of marriage at one point. The reason I say this is because getting back with her will be a huge step. It will be continuing something you already had. Whereas with this girl you have been with for three months, if you two break up it wont be a big deal and you will be able to get over it and see other people, play the field or settle down with somebody else one day.

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9:03 am on Nov. 9, 2009 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 276
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