An old man was feeling extremely depressed, after an awful condition caused him to lose one of his eyes. He decided instead of spending money on a glass eye, he would wear an eye patch.
Wanting some happiness in his life, he decided he would adopt a pet. He walked into the pets store, and spotted a beautiful blue parrot. He decided he would take the parrot home. However, the pet store owner informed him that the parrot had an extremely foul mouth. The old man didn't care, as he had heard so much in his long life that a little bad language didn't bother him much. After all, it probably was just taught those words by some stupid teenagers. The man took the parrot home and put it on a perch. He looked at the bird and said, "well, aren't you a pretty birdy?" The bird replied "FUCK YOU, YA ONE-EYED BASTARD."
The man scolded the bird. "Bad parrot," he said.
The parrot replied, "FUCK YOU, YA ONE-EYED BASTARD!"
The man knocked the bird off of it's perch. The parrot climbed back up and sat up.
"Now, are we going to have these troubles again?
The parrot replied, "FUCK YOU, YA ONE-EYED BASTARD!"
"THAT'S IT!" Cried the old man. "I can't deal with your language anymore! I'm sticking you in the freezer for half an hour to teach you a lesson!"
He shoved the parrot in the freezer, slammed the door, and walked to the couch to watch TV. However, in his old age he could not stay awake, and fell asleep on the couch. He woke up five hours later. "Oh shit, the bird," he said to himself, as he rushed to the freezer to pull him out.
And there sat the bird, looking like this:
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