I mean if you really wanted to be with this person, is there still something weird about it?

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rip brandibear.  Oct 1996 - June 29 2009

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I know we can't all stay here forever
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And they'll paint it

you need to both get far in your career so you can afford a decent wedding, cause ideally you will only have one.

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IWantToRapeVilleValo
|..x..|
When The Rich Wage War, Its The Poor Who Die.

and it is not too young if you feel you are both ready. nobody else can tell you whether you are ready or not, especially just based on how old you are. that is such an absurd concept.

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Do you guys think that 19-20 is too young to get married?

I mean if you really wanted to be with this person, is there still something weird about it?

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Second, are you sure that you even want marriage? Contrary to bullshit popular belief, you can have a perfectly healthy long-term relationship without marriage ever being a factor.

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Religion: Atheistic agnostic, political independent
Polyamory FAQ Relationships

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Quote: from Tr0uble89 at 2:57 pm on Nov. 3, 2009

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Do you guys think that 19-20 is too young to get married?  

 I mean if you really wanted to be with this person, is there still something weird about it?

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Probably too young.

Second, are you sure that you even want marriage? Contrary to bullshit popular belief, you can have a perfectly healthy long-term relationship without marriage ever being a factor.

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not everyone gives a shit about a decent wedding.  

and it is not too young if you feel you are both ready. nobody else can tell you whether you are ready or not, especially just based on how old you are. that is such an absurd concept.

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Now, obviously people differ in maturity, but I can't really measure that without knowing them personally. So I go by other factors- time spent together already is a big influence for example.

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putting a title on it doesn't change anything, i agree. however, how can you allude that it is too young to get married, but not too young to openly commit to one another in a long term relationship?

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1. Marriage as an institution is FAR more socially confining. Without it you don't get people trying to impose silly rules. There was a thread the other day where people acted extremely hostile to a pretty legitimate question albeit non-traditional - and I'd bet good money that if the words "fiance" had been replaced with "long-term partner" people would've acted normally.
Even if they don't realize it, people have laced marriage with a lot of bullshit, it's not just a title. Even the terms "my spouse", "my partner" (or even "my spice" for the plural) don't carry even a fraction of the social baggage that "husband" and "wife" do, it's ridiculous.

2. Marriage implies "for life" - even though this may not actually be a good idea. Long-term =/= "for life". It might mean decades, to be sure, but it's a important semantic difference. That's not to say that people shouldn't try to commit, of course they should, but sometimes, especially as lifespans increase, people naturally grow apart. Besides, nothing stops people from "for life" without marriage either. It's up to them.

So how does that tie into age? You need to be far more mature IMO to know what you're getting into with marriage.

Post edited at 10:50 pm on Nov. 3, 2009 by Stormblazer

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Religion: Atheistic agnostic, political independent
Polyamory FAQ Relationships

I married at 19, and it is going great for us.  We are just as much in love as we have ever been, and we are doing nothing but looking to the future.  However, we were both already graduated from college, in good careers, and were self sufficient.  We knew what we wanted and what to expect and things have only gotten better.  You  just have to decide if it is something you are really ready for.  

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