Right now in my life I'm pretty much alone. I know that alone is no way to live but I have this chronic issue of pushing people away, leaving me with no friends. I feel the pain of loneliness whenever I have time to spare of which I usually waste. I also suffer from severe depression and chronic social anxiety which nearly causes me to have panic attacks when I'm around people. I dread entering malls or even walking on campus cause there are so many people all around me, and it just eats at my insides. I try my best not to let it show, but inside I'm suffering. I'm 21 and I've been fighting with these issues since late adolescence. You'd think I'd have a grip by now. That is why I've decided to turn to medication. Hopefully this will at least ease my suffering.  

In general, I feel like I live a very pathetic life. I've been writing on these forums since I was about 15 about my depression and anxiety issues, and I've reached 21 and I still feel like I'm not alive. Something has got to give. The most pathetic part is that with all my career aspirations and dreams I realistically can't see my reaching these goals given my current predicament.

sorry to be such a killjoy

Post edited at 9:12 pm on Nov. 2, 2009 by Mr Serious

-------
"If you wake up at a different time,
in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?"

You should try listening to music more and reading, it always makes me feel better about loneliness or isolation.

Post edited at 9:10 pm on Nov. 2, 2009 by elloAgain