but after taking forever going over if I should do this, he took care of it himself.  needless to say I was relieved.

ya see, I've been seeing this guy I met 3 months ago.  however, he rarely has time for me, and I'm seriously wondering where this is going, if it's going anywhere at all...I'm so tired of being lonely, and I want someone to come with me to places...like restaurants, walks in the park, sightseeing, etc.

But he never has time.  not even to talk on the phone.  every blue moon, he'll sit with me at a coffee shop, but nothing more yet.

even if he were to call it off tomorrow, I still feel guilty about tonight.  I almost cheated on a guy I really like, but barely get any time with, if going for coffee even counts...

I'm not going in to the function tomorrow, because I'll see that guy there.  I can't have the temptation.  at the cost of my reputation, I'm gonna try harder to save whatever this relationship is with this guy.

It sounds like the guy you're seeing may not be a good fit for you.  You should consider whether or not you want to stay with him, but as long as you are with him, you did the right thing by not cheating.

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Why the hell would you try to save a relationship with a guy who doesn't make time for you?

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because I'm lonely enough as it is.  to call it off...it took so long for me to muster up the courage to date again.  and this guy is very mature...but very wrapped up in his work.  I don't want to tell him his work is the problem, especially since it's what drives him.

if there is any chance things wind down in the next month or two, I want to wait.  but until then, I wish I had the courage to tell him I want to see him more...and not just at the coffee shop.  I want to watch movies with him.   I want to take walks with him, and watch whatever nature is going on while in his arms.

I'm too tired, and too lonely to start over, though it wouldn't be  a far fall.

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because I'm lonely enough as it is. to call it off...it took so long for me to muster up the courage to date again. and this guy is very mature...but very wrapped up in his work. I don't want to tell him his work is the problem, especially since it's what drives him.

if there is any chance things wind down in the next month or two, I want to wait. but until then, I wish I had the courage to tell him I want to see him more...and not just at the coffee shop. I want to watch movies with him. I want to take walks with him, and watch whatever nature is going on while in his arms.

I'm too tired, and too lonely to start over, though it wouldn't be a far fall.

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Ask him to take some time for you.  Being in a one-sided relationship is fair on neither you nor him.

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"We were starting to establish some trust.  Except for all the lies."

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wow... that's sad. You're acting like you're 40 and about to get a divorce.

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I want a mate for life. not a fling.  many my age are very..."sensual".  I want substance.  I almost fell into that habit of taking physical pleasure in place of possible love.

he's someone I could see living with in the far future, and not having any regrets.  However, right now it's just so hard to figure out what would make him understand how I feel, without scaring him off.

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Quote: from Violently Happy at 2:47 am on Oct. 24, 2009

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wow... that's sad. You're acting like you're 40 and about to get a divorce.

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I want a mate for life. not a fling. many my age are very..."sensual". I want substance. I almost fell into that habit of taking physical pleasure in place of possible love.

he's someone I could see living with in the far future, and not having any regrets. However, right now it's just so hard to figure out what would make him understand how I feel, without scaring him off.

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Quote: from Anonymous at 3:55 am on Oct. 24, 2009

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Quote: from Violently Happy at 2:47 am on Oct. 24, 2009

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wow... that's sad. You're acting like you're 40 and about to get a divorce.

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 I want a mate for life. not a fling.  many my age are very..."sensual".  I want substance.  I almost fell into that habit of taking physical pleasure in place of possible love.  

 he's someone I could see living with in the far future, and not having any regrets.  However, right now it's just so hard to figure out what would make him understand how I feel, without scaring him off.

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I'd like to point out that you can have substance without exclusivity. See: Polyamory.

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I don't want to share my love life with multiple lovers.  I want to give my heart to one person, and give him love and passion I wouldn't give to anyone else.

polyamory...I'd be too busy balancing love equally.