Today had already been rubbish because my clothes have shrunk from the washing I did. That was annoying enough. Anyway, I don't know what happened but time seemed to fly by and so I didn't have time to get to the bank so will have to do that tomorrow. Also, I need to sort out a problem with my electricity bill, because the french administration system is useless. Then there's just the fact that these girls on my course acted all sly today about a test we had, and had a whole week to tell us - I don't know how they found out about it and we didn't, but the point is we've done favours for them and this just involved passing on knowledge. Ah! Then the fact that this evening everything was going reasonably well, until some other group members came down and it just went downhill. One of the boys asked about my girlfriend - well, I'm hoping that's where we're heading :) - and so I just told him about her and then when we asked if we were going out I said I was confused, because she wanted to play it casual at first, but seemed more willing to make it work now.

Anyway, this boy is really insensitive about things, and so I don't even know why carolyn gave him the bullets for this next comment, but she did. She's also mentioned this thing millions of times already, and I can't see why the others find it acceptable. Luckily I think danny wasn't paying attention, because I know it would have given him ammuniation. So, she said: ''She's messing you around because she has bi-polar, and is like kerry katona''. If I had of known she was going to act this childish I would never of mentioned that about her, but at the time she seemed concerned asking who I was e-mailing and then I eventually let on it was about the therapist and yes, I have been very ill in the past although am told it's just anxiety these days, even though I personally believe it's bi-polar - and so I then told her about Catherine having bi-polar herself.

Another reason I'm upset is because the therapist hasn't replied back in ages, and did that the last time too. Another French girl I planned on meeting up with hasn't texted back since last week, and I have to go to Disneyland on Sunday with carolyn and a mutual friend and her siblings. It was booked a while back now. Ah!

The comment just disgusted me. Like it disgusted me the time when I was upset for one of the idiots disclosing to the whole group that some weirdo man had once nearly tried it on with me when walking back to the halls I lived in last year, and carolyn just said not to be a baby.

Ahh, sorry I just feel really upset about everything and want to go home. I have to wait till the 6th November though which seems like a lifetime here. It's really difficult being so far from home =/

Other things:

carolyn has only known us since september and the rest of us knew one another from last year
and the immature boy has gone and written something on my facebook wall and it's just made me feel worse. Ahh!

What's done is done, and unfortunately you cannot take the secrets you've told the people in the group back. People CAN be really insensitive about things, and that's just a shitty part of life really. You just have to try and prevent their stupid comments from getting to you, otherwise you end up driving yourself crazy.

I'm sorry that your therapist and the other French girl haven't replied to you. Unfortunately, people can be really unreliable which always makes you feel rubbish, because what was the point of going to all the effort you did? I hope you have a good time on Sunday anyway, despite everything that's going on.

I will stop rambling now, but I hope a good night's sleep has calmed you down a bit and that you are feeling more positive about things. I also hope the next two weeks go by quickly for you and that being home does you a world of good, as I'm sure it will.

Good luck!

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You'll always be beautiful in my eyes.