I only have about 10 days off for Thanksgiving and I only have that many because it coincides with the end of my quarter. I intended to visit my boyfriend over the break like last year but last year I had two weeks to work with. He and I have been in a long distance relationship for almost two years now. He's my best friend. He's always there for me, always supportive and understanding. I haven't seen him since the beginning of June and want to spend as much time with him as I can over the break.

I was planning on spending about a week there and two or three days with my family. I wouldn't need to spend so much time with him if it weren't for the fact that I wanted him to visit on my birthday in August but my Dad was a total asshole and said that if I was paying for the trip that he "WOULDN'T FUCKING SUPPORT ME FUCKING DOING IT." even though, one, I was going to spend my own money and, two, it was technically my turn to pay for the ticket even if my boyfriend felt bad about it.

But my Dad and Mom are impossible. My Mom acts all disappointed and depressed when I live 5 hours away from home and could go home on the weekends. I'm going home next weekend actually. And they're both retired and could come up here for a few days but nope, she won't leave the damn house.

My Dad is worse. He throws a fit if I have to pay for anything (which is hypocritical because he made my Mom work because he wouldn't give her anything so it has nothing to do with "men having to pay") but he throws a fit when I want to go out for a visit even if they're paying. He just doesn't want me out of his control.

I feel bad about not seeing my Mom for very long but goddamn...I'm 21...wtf do they expect? I can't live at home all my life and they had me all damn summer! And I'm spending Thanksgiving with them!

On the flip side, my boyfriend has been under a lot of stress and he really wants me there. He's been so upset that even his mother suggested bringing me out and she's getting me free tickets. And they don't act like this when their kids travel, my parents seem so sheltered and controlling in comparison. >.<

It takes almost a whole day to get out to him and a whole day to get back so if I do 5 and 5, I wouldn't actually be getting 5 days with him. And 5 days every 4 or 5 months hardly seems like much. But my parents don't seem to get it -- "But you just saw him in June!" Are you fucking serious? Most people see their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend every day... :|

Am I looking at this the wrong way or what? :(

Post edited at 5:54 pm on Sep. 14, 2009 by Anonymous

My Dad, on the other hand, hates that I might move away where he can't control me. He likes to tell me what to do and he's kinda mean sometimes...put vaguely...and I think he sees my boyfriend as a threat to his ability to tell me what to do.

I think I'll try to get out of here earlier, maybe schedule a flight for the same day I have my last final or something, and try to squish things together. I'll probably be beat but I don't know how to keep up with everyone. -_-

I'm not blaming your parents. Some parents care so much about their child, they cant see that they're smothering them. And smothering can often lead to resentment, wanting space from the parent. Its not something you want to get into, so you need to deal with this now. Go see your boyfriend. Your relationship is in dire need of physical contact, especially now that you've been together so long, and your boyfriend is really stressing him out. The worst thing to be when you're stressed out, is feeling like you're all alone.

Explain that he needs you, and you're an adult, you cant be expected to come running everytime they beckon you. And leave it at that. Don't give in to arguing back, just leave it at that and continue on. You're a strong, adult woman. You need to prioritize yourself. If this guy really means a lot to you, you're going to do everything you can to help him when he needs you, and to strengthen your relationship, and above all else, become independant from your family like normal people do at your age.

Again, no need to be mean to them, but just get the point across. It might hurt a bit, but its not exclusive to them. Every parent has to go through it at one point in time, the only difference is, normally they go through it when the child is 18ish. Message me if you want to talk more about it, or any SL. We're always here to help :)

-------
I'm in here
Please take me home
Starla dear
I'm all alone