but i am so done. i've barely eaten anything these past few weeks, except for a binge here and there, but i'm putting a stop to the binging. i gained 3 pounds after one and i got so mad that i'm never doing it again. i'm starving myself. i'm purging. i'm doing whatever it takes to be thin. because thin means beautiful. thin means i'll find someone who isn't just in it for sex. thin means i'll get back at my bitch of a mother. thin means life is GOOD.

the fucked up thing is that my best friend is anorexic, and i've been helping her try to stop. but it's different with me. her ribs are showing, and i have stretch marks on my hips from them growing so fucking big. she just thinks she's fat, i AM fat.

part of me knows it's wrong. most of me doesn't care.

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when your thin, guys use you for sex
when someone truly does like you, looks don't matter as much

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If your gonna do it, do it healthy for crying out loud :/
And you wont look good after either.

Just a thing i found ages ago about it.
Seriously..you want to be like this?

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We'll never know unless we grow
There's so much world outside the door

And thin does not equal beauty. Ever

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Not a day passed me by When I don't think about you
And no moving on Cause I know you're the one
And I can't be without you

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i've been "eating healthy and exercising" for a year and it hasn't done shit. starving hasn't done much either so far, but i figure my body has to get energy from somewhere, and i've got plenty of stored energy. it's gross.

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Lol, that's a bunch of bullshit. You're obviously not doing it correctly. Perhaps you should go to a doctor and get some advice, or join a gym and meet with a personal trainer.

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Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.