Sleepy nights Suddenly my sleepy nights Make dreamy days At times I imagine his lips Or my lips Touching his lips And some nights I've heard his voice Calling to my captive soul Contained Controlled In love I'm sold To my own Wild fantasies That neither will be torn from me Nor fulfilled Dreamy day and sleepy night I am reminded of That line Deep red and scrolled across The monument of my emotions Erected there to Keep me In shackles Chained Contained Controlled In love Still sold And Bought with fools gold
It's interesting, I think a little rough at parts. Like it felt to me that the last line didn't fit the rhythm of the whole poem. But I'm no expert.
Overall I liked it though.
------- I happen to think you're pretty dandy.
1:45 am on Sep. 5, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2006 | 351 Days Active Join to learn more about ragemoreCalifornia, United States | GLBT AllyFemale | 4649 Posts | 8522 Points
xsolox
Enlightened One Patron Support Leader
not my thing
------- --Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam--
1:58 am on Sep. 5, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2007 | 505 Days Active Join to learn more about xsoloxAustralia | Label FreeFemale | 8099 Posts | 14069 Points
Dazigirl
Wealthy Hobo Patron
Well its good but personally Id change a few parts Still good though!
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