Sleepy nights Suddenly my sleepy nights Make dreamy days At times I imagine his lips Or my lips Touching his lips And some nights I've heard his voice Calling to my captive soul Contained Controlled In love I'm sold To my own Wild fantasies That neither will be torn from me Nor fulfilled Dreamy day and sleepy night I am reminded of That line Deep red and scrolled across The monument of my emotions Erected there to Keep me In shackles Chained Contained Controlled In love Still sold And Bought with fools gold
------- Do you agree? Of course you do.:http://bronzegod2012.blogspot.com/
1:40 am on Sep. 5, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 446 Join to learn more about Latin MuscleNiger | StraightMale | Posts: 22,960 | Points: 22,271
ragemore
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It's interesting, I think a little rough at parts. Like it felt to me that the last line didn't fit the rhythm of the whole poem. But I'm no expert.
Overall I liked it though.
------- I happen to think you're pretty dandy.
1:45 am on Sep. 5, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2006 | Days Active: 380 Join to learn more about ragemoreCalifornia, United States | GLBT AllyFemale | Posts: 4,675 | Points: 8,841
W o n d e r l a n d
Patron Support Leader
not my thing
------- Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.
Scarlet Tears
Enlightened One Patron Support Leader
Well its good but personally Id change a few parts Still good though!
------- Think. Do. Be. Positive.
2:06 am on Sep. 5, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 334 Join to learn more about Scarlet TearsAustralia | Label FreeFemale | Posts: 4,351 | Points: 14,205
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