i cant stand a single thing about this life we live in. everything seems so fucking warped from every angle, and not just 'bad government' or 'a lot of people are stoopid'. no, its steeped in from every fucking angle. pretty much every fucking ordinary thing one could think of. i used to see things as bad on that limited scale before but once you think more broadly and observe it becomes apparent that almost everything is absolutely fucking twisted. maybe some realize some of this, but when it comes to the foreground, it becomes a lot more fucking apparent. there is a difference im confident i could become an extremely rich tycoon in my life, i could fuck all the women, live in luxury, distract myself a little bit. but all the effort for nothing. its just a fucking game. society is warped so far beyond disrepair, and its only going to get worse. when im older, things will be a whole shitload more automated, and people will be even dimmer. theyll be narrowly proficient, but theyll lack creativity and ingenuity even more. its going to be a new dark age, for the mind that is, and its already beginning. but no one wants to fucking admit it. only when it gets really bad will people admit it, and maybe then things will change, or maybe itll just repeat itself because people will be too stupid and angry to do anything but form a tyrannical state. i dont want to waste my whole life longing for something that will probably never happen in the near-moderate future. but theres nothing else that can be done. its like being locked in an empty bleak warehouse with a soda machine, burger dispenser, and toilet. nothing more.
when you observe and think enough, most things become predictable and obvious. trust me. theres so little novelty around and so few people who are even a little bit awake, so almost everything is fucking boring. its an endless search for a few grains of rice when youre starving to death. and you can 'distract' yourself by 'doing' things but it wont do much if youre not the type who can easily be fooled.
i could take this shit forever if there was a purpose. but there is no purpose. theres absolutely nothing i can do to change or escape any of this (im no recluse) and there will continue to be this horrible emptiness in my life and in the world. when you get tired of a video game, you call it quits, right? or maybe you still play it once in awhile. but what if that same video game were shoved in your face and you were forced to play it every waking second?
fuck it. im drowning in boredom
Post edited at 9:52 pm on Sep. 2, 2008 by iconoclast
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